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the 20th page of Time magazine.


lucky_mimi8592 4 / 8  
Jan 15, 2011   #1
I know it's really long. I appreciate all ur helps! TKS A LOT!!! Good luck to all of us!!![/b]

The 20th page of Time Magazine
[b]"The sun is rising in the clear blue sky, starting a beautiful Sunday yet the busiest time at JYG coffee shop. As usual, the owner makes a careful check on the materials for food and drinks, and the beautiful flowers for decoration before welcoming the first guest of the day. When everything is sure to be at its best, the shop opens, and people start to come, have a delicious breakfast, and enjoy their weekends in comfort. I am enjoying myself here, too, with a cup of freshly ground coffee. It is no wonder that everybody likes it here. They feel at peace with the lively and cozy atmosphere, being treated with civility at all times. It helps people get their rhythm this early in the morning. Just looking at this excellent shop, hardly can anyone imagine that its owner is just a young girl who had to take the rough with the smooth to build up her own business like this".

It seems like you will have to be on the go all day.

Though sometimes I find it really hard just to find a second to sit down and enjoy my own coffee, I feel alive and energetic running around in my shop.

Look, is it true that you did start this all alone?
Well, it is quite a long story. This shop has been my lifelong dream. When most of my friends like the atmospheric music with fast beat and snappy tune of the U.S' music, or the bluesy but dreamy and lyrical melody of the UK's songs, only K-pop (Korean music) aroused my interest in such a way that I was so determined to popularize it more. So when I have just graduated from University, I immediately tried to make my dream come true. You can say that I started this JYG coffee shop from nothing but my passion for K-pop and for connecting people.

Wow, impressive!
Yeah, it might. But the idea seemed to be crazy at first and no one believed it. I met strong opposition from all my dearest people, parents, friends and my little sister, who had been unconditionally supporting and trusting my choices. They thought that after I had spent all those years being busily engaged myself in many activities in ..., that impossible childhood dream of mine was finally forgotten while in fact it had never left my heart and mind. I have to say that it was one of the toughest challenges in my life.

So how did you make them change their mind?
It is just that they all realized that the very purpose of my entering ... was to be trained to be a businesswoman who can put her education into action. I was so determined to show the world what I had got then.

Were there any difficulties after that?
Oh, yes. I flew to Korea on countless occasions to get access to three most prestigious entertainment companies for a co-operation. Actually, "JYG"- the shop's name, stands for one letter of each company JTunes - JYP - YG. You know, it is not easy for a girl to do business abroad all by herself. It was another difficult challenge for me. All those I was designated to meet shared with my parents and friends the doubt about my sounding-frivolous suggestion. Being the biggest companies in the entertainment industry, they could not risk their name doing business with just a young girl like me. It occurred to them that the suggestion might just be a joke, or else a fugitive thought from an immature person.

So what did you do then?
I had to prove myself all over again. My abiding passion for K-pop and for actualizing my dream was such that it indicated I had a thorough knowledge of K-pop and I knew for sure what I want to do and can do with that. They found that the fresh ideas I came up with turned out to crystallize into a definite strategy, which made these companies reconsider my proposal. Finally, I let my display of managerial competence and natural aptitude for dealing the challenges do the rest. They all said that my boldness to take risks and my genuine willingness to learn and to try awakened reminiscences of themselves years ago, And that was how I got to claim full rights over all the latest products - albums, posters, souvenirs, ... - of the three Korea's biggest entertainment magnates in Vietnam.

What do you call this, a great success of a young girl or a dream that came true?
No, I know it is just the tip of the iceberg. Though, many customers come to enjoy drinks, food and K-pop combined, my very aim is not to own a profit-making business but to create a place where people can come to share their interest in K-pop and more importantly, to make good friends. I believe that connecting divergent people is the first step to connect different cultures in the world. I want to be the "leader in connection" one day, who not only proudly introduce my beloved Vietnam to the world but also associate people together.

Oh, it is already near the end. Do you have any advice for our young folks?
I just want them to know that it even took me two years to apply successful to ... The fact that I had never been the student who got top scores for the SAT test or the exemplary one who can give a speech at school's graduation ceremony had never make me lose my passion and my sense of self- assertion. I am no superior to you. I prefer the idea that I am different and do not give up easily. I am now own by myself. I want to tell everyone that even people who lead a perfectly normal life can do a special thing to change the world. It is this way or the other, and my way is to change it with the beginning of a shop. Who knows what will be waiting at the end of the world! Now it is your turn, guys!

Thank you for your interesting sharing! Five or ten years it may take, your raw determination indicates that you can make it no matter what you do.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Jan 17, 2011   #2
Though sometimes I find it really hard just to find a second to sit down and enjoy my own coffee, I feel alive and energetic running around in my shop.

How useful is this part? I think you should decide what you want to say to the reader, and then ask questions that give you an opportunity to express those ideas. In this sentence above, you show your great writing style, but it does not express a very important idea.

to be a businesswoman who can put her education into action. ---This is excellent, but too broad/vague/nonspecific. I think you can aspire to be more than just a good businessperson. You can also have a life philosophy that you express through the way you run your business. If you study some moral philosophy and discourse about social responsibility in business (Google for it), I think you can put your great writing skill to even better use, because the whole essay will have a more meaningful main idea.

I think you need successfully here? ---> I just want them to know that it even took me two years to apply successfully to ...

:-)


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