According to the article, in the China there are species of giant panda which is a cultural icon of China then now have become rare due to rapid human growth so that the land for the giant panda began to decrease dramatically. The government says that there are several species in china is 1864 species in the wild in 2003. To cover with these conditions, the government do insemination to stimulate the number of panda's born in China. Then, in order to maximize the cooperation between the China government and WWF to conduct further research into the panda's life. Then came the "papa panda" for known about living life of panda and take some giant panda's, who wear full body panda costumes and scented with panda urine for avoid young bears closely. Because the young bears must be independent. The workings of this way is to move the giant panda from the zoo to the wild in order to increase the population of giant pandas in China.
Hallo Riandi, after reading your paragraph, i have some suggestions:
1. you should try to vary your vocabulary. please make sure that only one vocab which is allowed in one paragraph. for instance, you can change government to be the state official, the authority or central government and others since you have written this vocab for more than one.
2. you can also change than to be : in addition, furthermore, also, what is more,
as such, your sentence will be better,
3. make sure that you have carefully checked your grammatical accuracy prior to posting,
good job man
Hii riani after i read your summary and also read the website, here suggestion from me :
i think it's better to make your statement clear. i did not get idea about this sentence "The government says that there are several species in china is 1864 species in the wild in 2003". my suggestion according to the website is "the authority reports that in 2014 the number of pandas in the wild is over 17 per cent greater than 2003, amount 1,862 pandas"
Hallo I will give you some alternative ways for you
Please make the great decission what kinds of article you want to read eventually determine to write some summaries. Utilizing uncommon vocabularies is the best one if you want to write fascinating essay, such as we are able to change government with minister or administer which is urpossed to difffer repeatitive. All in all grammar or stucture is the pivotal aspect, and you should under surveillance it first
Hi Riandi, before I give my review on your essay, I would like to WELCOME you to the Essay Forum Family, I hope you find this website valuable as much as useful towards the revision of your essay and for future writing reference. Now, as I swift through your essay, I must say, you have to focus on your sentence construction, they are somehow jumbled with too many words that is not necessary in creating the idea that you are trying to build in your essay.
To elaborate this note further, below are my thoughts;
- According to the article, in
the China there are species
- of giant panda which is
a cultural icon of China's pride,
then nowhowever, they have become rare due
- to rapid human growth
so thatand the land for the giant
- in china, at
is 1864 species in the wild in 2003.
cover withrecuperate with these conditions,
forto avoid young bears closelyto come closer . Because the, they also make sure that the young bears must be independent.
- The work
ings of this way is to move the giant panda from the zoo to the wild
in orderis done in order to increase
- the population of the giant pandas in China.
There you have it Raindi, I hope the above remarks are useful.
Hallo RIandi, here are several correction that I could give :
the China there The government says that there are several species in china is 1864 species in the wild in 2003.
In 2003 the number of this species is approximately 1864 according to the government
hello, we have a similar article summary. i'd like to give several comments
here it goes...
According to the article, in the China there are (...) icon of China then now have become rarethey are classified to endangered animals due to rapid human growth so that the landhabitat for the giant panda began ...
The government says that there are
several1864 species left in china is 1864 species in the wild in 2003. To cover with thesethis condition s , the government do insemination to stimulate the number of panda's bornbreed in China.
The government says that there are several species ...
in 2003, government said that the number of species of Panda in China is 1864.
ings of this way is to move the giant panda from the zoo ...
Hope it will help. thank you