please check my essay on all senctences and content. i know that it may not make sense to you guys because i am not native speaker. thank you for your help.
An important movie.
1.breafly describe a movie which had a strong influence on you. it may have isnpired you, cheere you up, or helped you in some other way, but it should have done more than entertain you.
2. Explain how your viewing of this movie helped you understand and face a conflict in your life. It can be an emotional, spiritual, physical, or mental problem or situation.
And here is my essay:
I have watched many movies, but the movie I like the most is Lost in Translation. This movie have taught me what to do to overcome my situation as an immigrant who just moved to America from China.
This movie is about Charlotte who is the young wife of a photographer on assignment to Tokyo. In Tokyo, her husband leaves her alone in a hotel to pursue his own journey. She meets Harris who stays in the same hotel. They strike up a friendship. The two go through their adventure in Tokyo together experiencing the different between Japanese and American culture. They feel the loneliness, alienation and ennui when they have to operate within a different cultural and social Japanese environment. Especially, without knowing the Japanese language, it is really difficult for them to understand Japanese people around them.
I have been in America for a few years,and I have experienced many difficulties in this new culture. The movie makes me realize that living in any environment, without understand a language of its own will prevent us from many opportunities. I remember the first few month when I just came here, I I felt so lonely, bored, and frustrated because being unable to talk to people in English. Some people who spoke English called me on my cell phone, I could not understand what they meant who they were, so I always hung up on them and I felt so embarrassed.
Then I tried to work very hard and went to school to learn English so that I could not have time to feel sad or lonely. My English have been improving a lot comparing to it was before, I feel more confident and comfortable now living in America because I can communicate with people around me who don't speak the same my language.
Even though, it is still difficult for me in communication, I never stop learning English since it is not my native language. I even go further in attending college to improve my knowledge in understanding American culture and pursuing an educational career. I love to talk to my teacher and my classmates so that I can practice my English better and through them I can learn a lot of new things about American culture.
The movie Lost In Translation informs me that It is important that living in a culture we need to know the language in order to participate in that culture. As an immigrant student living in America, I will try my best to learn English to facilitate my communication ability.
The content of this essay is fine, although somewhat repetitive. You do answer the prompt adequately. In order to make the essay less repetitive, give some more details about your own situation. For example, tell the story of a specific encounter when your lack of English led you to feel as the characters in the movie did.
Your grammatical errors do not detract from your meaning, but still must be corrected in order to give a better impression. I notice, especially, that you go back and forth between present tense and past tense when describing the plot of the movie. When recounting the story of a book or a movie, it's fine (and very effective) to use present tense, but you must take care to maintain it. It's less powerful, but easier, to use past tense throughout. Either way, you must choose one and then stay with it.
Is this ok? If it is still repetitive, what do i need to cut off to make it better?
Your essay suffers from a host of minor grammatical errors, none of which are that serious on its own. In combination, though, they become a more serious problem. Here are a few fixes for you:
"This movie has taught me what to do to overcome my situation as an immigrant who just moved to America from China.
"The two go through their adventure in Tokyo together experiencing the differences between Japanese and American culture"
"The movie made me realize that living in any environment without understanding the native language of its own will prevent us from capitalizing on many opportunities."
thank you for your help.
i feel so dissapointed about myself. what should i do to make my writting better?
You don't need to feel disappointed. Your writing is pretty strong. You just need to work on cleaning up your grammar. That's just a matter of reading and writing more in English, and practicing as much as possible.
that's right. i should be positive, try to work as hard as i can, and hope my English will be better.
thanks for your time.
i feel so dissapointed about myself. what should i do to make my writting better?
Please don't feel disappointed in yourself!! Your English is very strong for someone who is still learning. Even native speakers very frequently write essays with many, many grammatical errors. It's all a matter of learning from trial and error.
Thanks for your encouragament !
