A paragraph for IELTS: benefits of mobile phones

Mobile phones have brought many benefits to today's society. The call-answering function and texting function allow people to be contacted easily wherever they are, which has essentially revolutionized the way people communicate with their friends and business partners. New generations often use phones to take pictures ,sparing the effort of carrying cameras around. Mobile phones can sometimes offer users protection by dialing emergency numbers in case needed. With variety of functions in Smartphones , such as music and internet, mobile phones have become one of the most prevalent fashions accessories, by owning which indicates ones taste and even social status.

which has essentially revolutionized(Verb) the way people communicate(Verb) with their friends and business partners
in my opinion, you are laying down two verbs in one sentence without a clause or a conj.

The functions like call-answering function and texting function allow people to be contactedstay connected easily from wherever they are, which hashaveessentially revolutionized the way people communicate with their friends and business partners today.

This is for which IELTS Task?

task2，no specific question, just trying to write a general paragraph