Unanswered [5] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback % width Posts: 2

TASK 2 : A parent's insistence on children. Reasons? Negative or positive effects?

Qin0202 1 / -  
Jan 4, 2021   #1

Putting Too Much Pressure on Kids

It is true that the over insistence of parents on their offspring becoming high achievers has placed a tremendous amount of pressure on them. The development of this trend is attributable to several reasons and it's continuation can result in pernicious outcomes.

One fundamental factors contributing to the formation of this child-rearing style is the competitive attitude among parents. Children are often obliged to indulge in a plethora of both academic and non-academic activities as competency in various fields is believed to be essential for their success in the future. Moreover, youngsters are subject to increasing pressure due to the supposed correlation between achievements at school and status in society, which tends to aggravate the compulsion. In some cultures, exceptional accomplishments are often associated with pride as well as prestige while poor performances are considered a disgrace to the family. Another underlying reason is the wariness for the same predicaments in their children of those who once strove for prosperity.

This coercive parenting method is likely to cause detrimental repercussions on a child's mental health. Although setting high expectation is incentivizing but compelling adolescents to involve in activites beyond their bounds of interest and capability can lead to counterproductive results. Psychological sufferings such as depression, insomnia and inferiority complex can stem from chronic strain. Furthermore, over-demanding parents has taught their kids to become fearful of failures and reluctant in decision making, from which they develop a consequential vicarious lifestyle.

In conlusion, though this forcible attitude may provide children with some proper career orientation, I believe that excessive parental aspiration could be psychologically disadvantageous for them.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,088 3251  
Jan 4, 2021   #2
It is true that the over insistence of parents

- Do not exaggerate the given topic for discussion in the original prompt. Since you were not asked if the implied discussion topic is true or false in the original prompt, there is no need to refer to such a statement in your representation of the prompt. This was the only problem in your first paragraph. You did well enough in the response to the questions provided. While a discussion topic presentation would have garnered you a higher TA score, the restatement of the discussion instructions will also be an acceptable presentation in that section. It will not increase your TA score to the extent that the outlined response would have, but it will help your TA score just the same.

The reasoning paragraph was well developed until the last sentence in the presentation. The topic in that section was not fully explained, defended, nor supported in your presentation paragraph. That single error in presentation in that paragraph automatically made it under developed, resulting in minimal point deductions, but deductions nonetheless. Never add a topic you cannot fully develop alongside the other topics. Do not risk receiving point deductions. You never know if the percentage deduction might prevent you from receiving a passing score.

The results paragraph and the conclusion are acceptable and show that you are capable of properly developing discussion presentations in a manner that will be clear to the reader. You also avoided making notable GRA errors in both paragraphs so your score will benefit from the "clean" presentation of those sections.

Home / Writing Feedback / TASK 2 : A parent's insistence on children. Reasons? Negative or positive effects?