I am supposed to do a compare and contrast essay of two people in my family. I'm not sure whether or not this is good enough to turn in.
Parental Mishaps
Many people have parents that have a fairly close age range. My parents, however, do not apply. My father is seven years older than my mom. He had just moved to Sutter with his mom, dad, and brother by the time my mom was born. They have a very big set of differences, but with those differences also come with a few similarities. For instance, my father has very blonde hair and used to be a true toe-head while my mom has very dark brown, almost black, hair.
The two are very different in not only age, but also where they lived and how each were raised. My mother was raised by her mom in Olivehurst and was thirty-six when my mother was born. Before her were three sisters and after her were two twin brothers that died at birth. At four years old, my mom and her mom's friend's child were playing with matches, which resulted in my mom having over eighty percent of her body burned. My dad, however, was raised by his mom and dad along with his brother that is one year older than him. They had all lived in Sutter by the time my dad was six and had a great life. My dad was outside with friends all the time. He would play basketball and baseball with them, and ran and worked out every day with his dad and brother.
Besides being raised differently, my parents have different political and religious views. My mother votes for people that are more likely to not be voted in, while my father looks into the information of each runner. As far as religion, they both believe in God. While my mom believes that to go to Heaven you just say sorry to a person, my father believes that being good in general would deem ones position in Heaven. By their views one would think my mother is a Catholic and father a Christian, but the truth is actually vice versa.
Along with the many differences the two have, they also have some similarities. For instance, my mother just hates being wrong, along with my father. I am not sure which is more funny; my mom getting mad at someone because he or she is right, or my dad not being able to get his portion of calling someone wrong although that person is right. If I came up to each parent with a phrase neither had heard before, they would not believe me that the quote is true. They would go online and look it up for hours to prove me wrong and in the end know I am right and not say so.
Another way my parents are alike is the fact that neither of them have a problem contradicting themselves. One day I was walking into my mom's house, when I was younger, with mud on the bottom of my shoes. She told me to leave them on, but would refuse to do the same. She would come inside her house with not just dirt but animal scat on the bottom and blame it on someone else. My father also does the same with cleanliness. He used to always tell my brother and me to clean up after himself, but would rarely ever clean his own messes of cigarette ashes on the ground or dropped ice cubes on the kitchen floor. In a way, the two are more related than they think.
As a child of the two adults, I would know more about them than any other person. I know that they love people, themselves, and animals, but they also have sides that show how different the parents are. This goes to prove that people can easily be alike and different than someone else.
Your essay is pretty good, but it seems to be all over the place, and I think it may be because you're putting a lot of differences that aren't related to one another. In the similarities you note two things that can be similar, like your parents not liking to be wrong and contradicting themselves. Maybe you should pick one difference and elaborate, like give more examples.
I hope that helps a little!
My parents, however, do not apply.
This is the wrong way to use "apply." The right way would be like this:
As a general rule, people's parents tend to be close in age. To my parents, however, this rule does not apply.
For instance, my father has very blonde hair and used to be a true toe-head while my mom has very dark brown, almost black, hair.---- this is not a good way to end the first paragraph. When you write an essay, the last sentence of the first paragraph will linger in the reader's mind for a while and give an impression of what the essay is all about. Don't mention hair color in the intro para. Use the intro para to make the most important point of the whole essay... the main idea.
Your topic sentences are great!! Google "topic sentences" to review them and see how great yours are.
You need to develop your thesis for the essay. Add more sentences to that conclusion, and replace that last sentence of the first paragraph with a thesis statement that tells the main idea, the most important message of the essay. It should be fun to write the thesis statement! It is a way to express yourself.
