New parents should attend a parenting course to learn how to bring up their children well. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
One more useless 'correction' from you = account suspension
preparation for motherhood/fatherhood
Parenthood is the most beautiful phase of life which requires a lot of patience. In order to help new parents to nurture their toddlers, it is advisable to join a parenting course to get the know-how on raising kids. I am of the mixed opinion that enrolling oneself into parenting course will be helpful, whereas it is unrealistic to make sure everyone will join these courses.
On one hand, these type of courses is required for couples who are staying away from their parents and doesn't have experience of handling kids. Despite this, parenting courses also offer practical reasoning of some trivial methods which are used by our ancestors. For example, when a toddler is having running nose, elders prefer to give a soup of black pepper, ginger et cetera. We might not know the exact purpose behind these things which will get clarified and addressed in the parenting courses. In addition, attending parenting course bring an extraordinary confidence in seeing ourself in foreseeable future as successive parents.
On the flip side, parenting course is not worth for group families. This is because group family normally consists of elders who have immense experience in handling kids and taking care of them right from their birth. Furthermore, expecting all parents to attend these type of course is impractical as everyone might not have the budget to spend money on these courses. A good illustration is people who are living in below poverty line suffer to get basic needs for their livelihood who will be least bothered about these courses.
All in all, parenting is the most critical phase where parents should take utmost care of kids and guide them in right direction and mold them to become better citizens. In my view, though parenting course brings a lot of support and confidence to young parents, it is not required by few people who are gifted with join family and people who are running on tight budgets.
Sinchana, as I have previously mentioned, you cannot choose to support both sides in the discussion when a prompt asks you present "the extent to which you agree OR disagree" with a given proposal. The keyword here being OR. Make a choice. Pick one side of the topic. The side that you are most familiar with and can defend even in the simplest form of English discussion. Then in the opening statement, state which side you will be supporting in this essay discussion. You cannot have mixed reviews. You must follow the prompt instruction for every essay that you write. No deviations. A deviation could result in an automatic failure in the exam because you will most likely not present the correct discussion for the topic provided. This seems to be a regular problem with your essays. You are incapable of actually following the English instructions. Do you have a problem understanding how to write the various IELTS essays? If so, you better speak up so that I can help you fix that problem. If you don't fix it, there is a greater chance of you not passing the IELTS when you finally take the actual test.
Mary is absolutely right, choose one side and stick with it. Follow the prompt and choose to agree or disagree, mixed opinion is disaster for the exam. We must put aside some real personal thoughts (for instance, parenting course fits for some families while not suitable for others), pick one side and discuss it - even with fake reasons. The exam is testing our ability to present with English rather than our opinion about a topic.
Hi Holt, I tried taking one side while writing the essay, but couldn't gather more ideas for the same. So stated mixed opinion.
Will not repeat this again.
Thank you so much.
Hi Sinchana, I will try offering my perspective about your writing. After I have seen your style in the writing, I have known that you always include a hook before you paraphrase the statement. It doesn't matter because it can guide readers to understanding your writing. However, there was more essential. It is your position in the thesis statement. Please, you focus on prompts given. Your position should stand out between two views, not to explain another topic like this
it is unrealistic to make sure everyone will join these courses
Turning to the first body paragraph, you actually offer the reasonable opinion why you agree. However, you included the example of contents in the parenting course. I reckon that did not relate to the topic. Following this, I ever mentioned previously that you never ever ever present the contraction (doesn't) in the formal writing.
On the other hand, your conclusion was not strong. I only remind you that the conclusion is the paraphrase of the thesis statement. Its aim is to clear up your position again in this essay. Besides that, I have found a few misspellings in your writing. You need to double check your writing before uploading this.
I hope these can improve your ability.