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TOEFL - Parents are the best teachers? No, it does not hold for every case!


g8231226702 2 / 6  
Mar 9, 2011   #1
Thank you guys for reading my essay. I hope you can read it in the most critical way. It will certainly improve my English writing skills. Thank you :)

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents are the best teachers. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
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I don't think this statement will hold for every case, but it is true in my case. We all know that animals start to learn by mimicking their parents; cubs learn how to prowl by watching their parents, eaglets learn to fly, and even a feral kid imitates his/her animal parents. Therefore we all agreed that parents do have significant influence on us, however whether our parents are the best teacher or the worst depends on whether the influence is good or bad. Some husbands beat their wife because they saw their father beat their mother in their childhood. Still others respect and love their family instead. Fortunately, my parents are indeed my best teachers, because they taught me the good values such as justice or ethic, which I should always keep in mind.

I remember that one time, in my third grade of junior high school, I was hesitated about whether to lie in my poor grade. It turned out to be I didn't. Because of a prompt feeling of guilty. I didn't know why I would have that feeling, but now I figure it out it was due to those good values my parents told me. I think one important reason why parents influence us so much is because we all need a pattern of thinking or behaving to reasoning or reacting to the world, and the first ,therefore the most, important pattern we learned is our parent's pattern. Although other people we met when we grew older might also have considerable effect to us, the influences from our parents are still the most influential.

In conclusion, I agree that our parents influence us the most, but when it comes to the issue that whether our parents are the best teacher, we still need to reconsider carefully, because if our parents influence us in a bad way, they will not be our best teacher but, in the other extreme, the worst.

megiacodon 5 / 15  
Mar 9, 2011   #2
Hi,
Your introduction is too long while the main part is too short and not convincing enough. You should move some of your introduction into the main part.

One idea is that parents are the most important teachers
eating105 2 / 3  
Mar 9, 2011   #3
give you some suggestion about this essay; first, simplify your introduction and do not give too many examples in that paragraph.
In the first paragraph, you should point out your attitude about the statement directly. And then give some ideas and examples to support
your stand in the following part of the article. ^^
OP g8231226702 2 / 6  
Mar 9, 2011   #4
I got it. Thank you guys !
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,334 129  
Mar 13, 2011   #5
Impressive! You are ready for the toefl. Just forget about it and move on to other challenges. When you take the test you will pass as long as you keep the sentences simple. You are using complex sentences, and you are using them correctly!

Number agreement:
... whether our parents are the best teachers or...

Number agreement:
the worst depends on whether the influence is good or bad. Some husbands beat their wife wives because they saw their fathers beat their mothers in their childhood.

... such as justice and ethics, which I should always keep in mind.

...was feeling conflicted about about whether to lie in about my poor grade.

It turned out to be I didn't The way it turned out, I didn't lie.---I just changed this for clarity.

...when it comes to the question of whether our parents are the best teachers, we still need to consider carefully, because if our parents influence us in a bad way, they will prove not to have been our best teachers but, in the other extreme, the worst.-----Excellent!! I made some changes, but they represent advanced writing lessons. You are absolutely ready for the toefl.


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