Parents always have efficient and vital impact on a child's success in school

In about 250 words, write an essay expressing your view on the following topic:
Topic: "Classmates have a more important influence than parents on a child's success in school."
Please tell me what you think about this essay! Thanks a lot!
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No one can deny the benefits and positive effects that a classmate brings to a child in school days. Some people consider that classmates have a more positive effect on a child's achievement than parents, because kids enable to look for help from their friends for tough lessons or other difficulties during their classes. However, I strongly believe that parents play much more important role than classmates in a child's success in school.

Opponents of this position may say that classmates can affect the way a child learns. To some extent, there is some truth in this; however, parents have more significant influence on how a child studies. Parents who have experienced their school days comprehend exactly what is the most effective and successful way to acquire knowledge and put this knowledge into practice. Therefore, children are easier to get high marks in tasks or exams by means of parents' support.

Some people also argue that children can share their joys and thoughts with classmates than parents because parents are unable to understand them. On the other hand, it is studied that parents' roles are particularly necessary in sharing children's thinking and emotions. Parents' experiences and advices can be invaluable guidance for kids to overcome difficulties and get success in their learning, children's relationships too.

In conclusion, in every aspects of life, parents always have efficient and vital impact on one's life, especially on a child's success in school. As a result, I totally agree that parents' roles are more important than classmates' to help a child succeed in school.

No one can deny the benefits and positive effects..
Opponents of this position may say thatClassmates can affect the way a child learns. To some extent, there is some truth in this-- you need to support this argument 'cause this is a sort of generalization.

Parents know exactly what is the most effective and successful way to acquire knowledge and put this knowledgeit into practice.
Therefore, it would be simple for childrenare easie r to get high marks in tasks..
Parents' experiences and advices can be anin valuable guidance for kids to overcome difficulties and get success in their learning, children's relationships too. .

This is an argumentative essay. Therefore, I encourage you to defend your stand by presenting evidences. Likewise, it needs a little bit of refinement in terms of the organization of your ideas. Use transitional devices appropriately to connect every sentence and to put effectively what it intends across.

As instance,


I would suggest that you should add supporting detail prior to this sentence, "Some people also argue thachildren can share their joys..."Because of this, you have committed sentence irrelevancy.

All in all, you've discussed the topic well nman. Great try.. just need a minor revision. I like your conclusion to be honest.