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Parents should encourage children to spend less time studying and more time doing physical activity



Brooklyn2211209 1 / -  
Jun 2, 2026   #1
Some individuals contend that children should be motivated by their parents to engage actively in physical activities rather than prioritise academic achievement. While it's undeniable that sports significantly benefit children's development, I firmly believe children ought not to minimise their focus on academic pursuits.
To begin with, one of the major advantages of sports is that they substantially enhance children's overall well-being. Taking part in outdoor activities enables children to build and strengthen their muscles through regular exercise. Moreover, it offers them a beneficial opportunity to release pent-up energy and motivate them to step out of their comfort zone to develop essential skills such as communication skills and teamwork skills. For instance, a study showed that by implementing a few physical sessions during class, the formal curriculum of the UK successfully increased pupils' engagement, resulting in their improved academic performance.
However, I still hold the point that the drawbacks of studying less outweigh the benefits of physical pastimes. In particular, academic pursuits, which students engage in for many years, play a crucial role in a youngster's future. If not well prepared with solid theoretical knowledge, students might struggle with real-world work. This negatively affects their professional growth. It's fair to say that education is one of the most solid foundations to achieve success when the employment rate of honour graduates surpasses the employment rate of non-degree holders in fact.
In conclusion, diminishing the importance of investment in intellectual development to promote physical activity is definitely not a wise approach. From my perspective, instead of urging children to participate in sports more, parents should encourage children to strike a balance between physical activity and studying to lead a healthy and accomplished life.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 16112  
Jun 5, 2026   #2
I firmly believe

While you can use this as a response to the essay, the score it will bring in for you in terms of task accuracy will not be as high as it could be. That is because the response you gave is for an extent essay rather than an agree or disagree essay prompt. Another weakness of the opening paragraph is the lack of summarized supporting reasons that will become an expanded discussion in the body of paragraphs.

However, I still hold t

The reasoning paragraphs are not properly formatted as a response. Since this is a single opinion essay, the expectation is that you will present 2 supporting reasons for your opinion, justified with examples, personal knowledge, and public information. Using the compare and contrast discussion format will result in an under developed essay scored in the final consideration.

The above observations are the main reasons why the essay may not receive a passing score in an actual test setting.


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