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parents are the first people who show the children what they should or shouldnt


violetkau1 1 / 6  
Jun 16, 2013   #1
Topic: Some pople think that parents should teach children how to be good members of sociaety .Others, however, belive that school is the place to learn this.

Children spend most of their time at school and in their homes , where not only do they study for certain subjects but also they learn to be cizvilizied and good people .That's why i think that both teachers and parents have a great impact on children's attitude in sociaety.

To begin with, parents are the first people who show the children what they should or shouldnt say or do .They teach the children to obey some rules from their early ages as every parent's aim is to make his/her child a good member of society..Parents also influence the children with their own manners.Many times children repeat some words said by someone of their family or behave like him or her.Therefore,parents have an very important role in children's upbringing and they should be more responsible for making them a human beings with positive qualities.

On the other hand , school is the place, where children are obligated to go to and where they should obey certain rules.Except that they gain knowledge of history, biology and many other subjects , because of the school children gain many other quaities.For example, waking up early in the morning and going to school at exact hour make them more precise and doing homeworks change them to people with responsibilities.School is also the place where they learn to communicate with different personalities and due to this they become sociable.However, all this things wont be possible without the help of the teachers, who should be strict and should require more and more from their students.While they educate them they also have the task to teach them how to be a good people because in my view school is the second family of the child.

In conclusion, parents and school are equally responsible to teach children to be a good mamber of sociaety....
i dont know how to end up, pl

awesomegirl7812 - / 1  
Jun 16, 2013   #2
That was [b]goood[b]! Although i do want to ask if that was your final draft or not because there were A LOT of spelling errors. the topic was nice and your reasoning made sense to me. I understand if you are not from the U.S or anywhere that does not count English as their 1st language so i totally get it. When is this due? I recommend that you end your essay with something like "In conclusion i believe ____ _____ ____ because of (your reasoning from before.) then you say. That is why i thought ________ _________ and _____ for those reasons. K? Great job and i hope i was helpful! BTW: im in 6 grade in america so im used to doing these stuff. ;)
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Jun 16, 2013   #3
Hey... you need to post all IELTS essays under "Writing Feedback" Forum and also provide a more meaningful topic for your thread. These are EF rules and hope you'd follow them with your next thread. You will also earn more useful comments by following these rules.

where not only do they study for certain subjects but also they learn to be cizvilizied and good people .

That's whyiI think that both teachers and parents have a great impact on children's attitude in sociaety.society

... Pay attention to your spellings

To begin with, parents are the first people who show the children what they should or shouldnt say or do .

To begin with, it is the parents who first teach their children manners; how to behave in company by teaching them what they should do and should not do

Make your example sound more specific in the body paras.
xucoi 14 / 41 10  
Jun 17, 2013   #4
They teach the children to obey some rules from their early ages as every parent's aim is to make his/her child a good member of society

They teach the children to obey some rules from their early ages such as the honesty or brave. Those things are accumulated in children's mind and form them to be a good and useful members of society.

Many times children repeat some words said by someone of their family or behave like him or her

Children usually tend to repeat the actions and words from their parents. That is the reason why parents always have the important role in sharping their children manners by behaving their action exemplarily in their daily works.
niesaysi 16 / 284 83  
Jun 17, 2013   #5
Children spend most of their time at school and in their homes , where not only do they study for certain subjects but also they learn to be cizvilizied and good people .

Children spend most of their time at school and in their homes , where they do not only study for certain subjects but also they learn to be cizvilizied and good people . Evade writing first the simple verb "do" on that clause since you are not asking a question ( do they..; instead they do..)
OP violetkau1 1 / 6  
Jun 17, 2013   #6
can you take a glance at my cecond paragraph. thank you
Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
Jul 1, 2013   #7
Except that they gain knowledge of history, biology and many other subjects , because of the school children gain many other quaities .

.... the latter part does not fit in well with the previous idea and because of that it does not connect well with the first half. Take that idea to a new sentenc;

In addition,the children learn many important social skills at school that help them be disciplined.

For example, waking up early in the morning and going to school at exact hour make them more precise and doing homeworks change them to people with responsibilities.

.
For example, they need to follow set rules such as not being late for school. Therefore they need to wake up early in the morning to get ready to leave for school.


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