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IELTS- parents give children TV/PC game to make them quiet,Give your solutions and reason~


duo008 6 / 39 5  
Nov 28, 2013   #1
Some parents find no time to spend with their children. They give them television and computer games in order to keep them quiet. Give your own solutions and reasons.

The parents are always playing the significant roles in children grow up. Not all the parents know what is their children really needs, or they may have no time to teach or play with their children instead of bought TV or PC game to their children to keep them stay at home safely and quietly. In my point of view, it is not a good way for children's growing up. The parents have to pay more attention on their child carefully and patiently in order to give them a good beginning of future life.

It is undoubted that almost all the children keen on video games, and some video game maybe could help children learn something. But it still brings more negative effect to the children. Firstly, keeping focus on TV or computer screen for a long time may damage children's vision. And lacking outdoor activities is not good for their physical healthy. Secondly, too much concentration on games may lead them ignore the other things, such as lack communication with their parents or forget go to bed or even not have a dinner on time. Some games which contain violent and bloody may seriously mislead children's personal value and make them to do the wrong thing.

Here are some advices that I suggested if the parents have not enough time to care their children. The parents could encourage children's good interesting or hobby, for example, if they likes play basketball, the parents could suggest them to enjoy the sports club to enhance their sense of cooperation. Or encourage them to participate in church or community activities or volunteer jobs, it good for children to improve their communication skill and social responsibility.

In conclusion, it is important that how the parents educate their children, because the way that the parents teaching will affect children life very much, if the parents wish their children have a better future, they'd better have good plan for their children not just leave them to TV or computer games.

Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
Nov 28, 2013   #2
The parents are always play significant role in children grow up

... wrong grammar :(
parents play / parents are playing
The parents always play a significant role in the development of their children.

Not allparents knows what is their children really needs,

parents know (plural form) / parent knows (singular form)

The parents have to pay more attraction on their child carefully and patiently in order to give them a good beginning of future life.

... the right word that fits in there is "attention" not "attraction".
You need to pay attention to grammar and vocabulary.
OP duo008 6 / 39 5  
Nov 28, 2013   #3
Thanks for your advices. Pahan

I will check it again,
sri_1 5 / 8 5  
Nov 28, 2013   #4
Good content with few grammatical mistake.

children keen on

are keen on

And lacking outdoor

better avoid 'and' in the starting of the sentence.

children grow up

in their child's growth

parents have not enough time

do not have enough time

Or encourage

why is or coming in the starting of the sentence?

hildren life v

children's life
OP duo008 6 / 39 5  
Nov 28, 2013   #5
sri_1
thanks sri_1 really helpful!!
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Nov 30, 2013   #6
The parents are always playing the significant roles in childrengrow upthe growth of their children .

What Pahan has suggested is the best way to express this idea.

Not all the parents know what is their children really needs

Not all parents know what their children really need
child needs / children need

Not all the parents know what is their children really needs, or they may have no time to teach or play with their children instead of bought TV or PC game to their children to keep them stay at home safely and quietly.

This sentence is too lengthy as well as crowded with so many ideas. Don't write long sentences. Keep them short - one sentence for one idea. You need to pay lots of attention to grammar and vocabulary. So, the best way for you to get a good start is writing shorter sentences.
OP duo008 6 / 39 5  
Nov 30, 2013   #7
thanks dumi!!


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