Hello everyone,
I am the beginner of essay writing. I would like to test TOEFL in May but I never have written it before. I tried to practice and I need someobody help to correct it.
Thank you.
Question. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents are the best teachers. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Introduction:
At third floor, before orthopedic class, this fellow is teaching us about a septic knee while I saw the young man who was teaching his son to play soccer in the field. These teachings that happened around us that made me think of my parents who were the first teacher of my life. Although I have known many teachers in my life they did not do as good as my parents did. So I agree with parents are the best teacher.
Body:
First of all, parents are the first teachers who teach everything to a child is born. For example, after birth of a child, they taught him to eat, to drink, to climb, to stand, to speak, or to walk. They never get tired, mad, or hate him although he never say their name. From childhood to youth, adolescence and adult, they taught him, to run, to sing, to ride bicycle, or to be a good man. They spend all time of their life with love and care to their child ,in spite of the fact that he never paid him back. But all of these lessons become an important thing for child to go outside world. And they do with truly love that child could be feel it ;moreover, they are his hero or as role models and make him appreciates doing follow theirs teaching compare to another teacher.
Furthermore parents are available for the child anytime, anywhere he wants. For example, when the child fails or is disappointment, they stand on his side and support him to keep going. In the heavy raining, in the rapid river, in moon time, in the day light or in the extremely dangerous situation, they never been left him behind among in trouble that you never seen form others.
Conclusion.
In conclusion, parents can give everything to their child even if their life that he never has been recieved from any kind of other teachers. So I strongly support parents are the best teachers again.
-there are several mistakes in using tenses. U have written 'taught' many times,but I feel 'teach' is the right word there.
-secondly, give examples like if a father comes home drunk n abuses, the kid will also learn while if he becomes an inspiring figure for his child, the child will learn good things. Ur second point is not in the context of the essay. They are asking u about the teachings one can get through parents and how+why they are the best teachers...their love for child is not in relation to teachings.
-importantly, there are several sentence formation mistakes.do have a look at it.
Good luck n cheers.
Although many people think that parents are just our primary teachers and not the best teachers, yet I very strongly believe that the parents are our best teachers or mentors. When the child comes to this world his parents are the only humans he knows. Some psychologists too believe that basic growth of the child occurs when he is very young. He tends to learn faster when he is young and that time he has only his parents to learn from. He somehow tries to copy everything his parents are doing and by the time he reaches the outside world he has already learnt the basics of life. Parents have an unconditional love for their children. They understand their child more than anyone else does. Parents are the first to teach their children the moral values that are to be instilled at a very early age. The sense of belonging and love that the parents have for their children is far beyond comparison. All this personal care and affection a child cannot get from his teachers in the school or from his friends.
The parents understand the weaknesses and strengths of their children and they give their best to convert their child's weakness into his strength. The teachers in the school are not there with children all the time. She spends only a part of day with them. The parents are always around their child carefully watching their actions and deeds and if there is something that is objectionable they immediately try to correct that, unlike the teachers in the school who are there only during the class.
There is one more quality of parents that that cannot be weighed against anything else is their patience. The parents generally show immense amount of patience towards their child. They generally pardon the mistakes of their child and make him understand that the mistake is not supposed to be repeated again. They are very extremely flexible considering the demands of their child but also keep in mind that they do not have to overdo it else that can convert to a habit.
Therefore, I believe that the parents not only give their child support in the academics but also benevolently teach him the imperative lessons of life that would be of more importance in the real world than the academic knowledge alone.
Hey, it is true that there are some small errors, but you have to also remember that writing is art. It is always art, even when it is formal. This essay begins with a sentence that really draws my attention into the action of the scene. Chamnanni, the way you wrote, "..this fellow is teaching us about..." makes me suddenly identify with the narrator.
You can google around about indentifying with the narrator to see what I mean. And do not be discouraged about the mistakes! You are a naturally talented writer, I think. :-)
