er... I meant to put it in Essay Feedback...
Parents should help determining the future of their children rather than allow children make their own choices.
Admittedly, parents, with more experience, social knowledge and deeper thoughts, could probably make better decisions for their children's future life. However, parents determining the future of their children could have negative effects as well. Children would probably lack decisiveness when they grow up, conflicts would be ignited at home easily, and a wrong decision is more likely to be made. And therefore, I hold opposite view to the statement.
Initially, allowing children to make their own choices will be beneficial to their success in the future. Supposing parents allow their child to make his own decisions, the child would easily develop a habit of independent thinking. He would learn how to make better decisions for himself and grow up into a decisive person. During his work, he would always look at an issue all-around, which is an advantage for his career, especially in current society where the competitions between workmates are increasingly tough. He would easily get promotions and would achieve his ambition eventually. On the contrary, if the parents always make decisions for him, he may gradually lose the ability of making a proper decision and end up with an ordinary life of no glory. Thus, I think allowing children to make their own choices is better for their future success.
Furthermore, permitting children to make their own choices is better for the relationship between parents and children. Since, nowadays, parents are more occupied with their work, the communications between they and their children become less. And thus hardly would parents know whether their children would be in agreement with the decisions they've made. If parents give children the freedom to make their decisions, many family conflicts, which due to different views and inclinations between parents and children, would be avoided, and thereby the atmosphere at home and the relationship between parents and children would not be disturbed. Yet if parents try to make every decisions for their children, the situation would probably go on to the opposite. Accordingly, allowing children to make their own choices is of help to maintain the peaceful relationship between parents and children.
Finally, children making their own decisions is of effect to keep away from wrong decisions. No one knows him better than the child himself. He understands his own feelings, his own thoughts, his own interest and his own capabilities. By allowing him making his own decisions, he would probably choose a better and more suitable direction for himself, so that he would develop his competence to the utmost. Comparatively, parents are more likely to take the wrong options and would regret deserting their children's gifts only when it is too late. Hence, it is better for parents to permit their children to make their own decisions.
In conclusion, parents should not always help in deciding the future of their children. Instead, they should permit their children to make their own decisions for their own life.
Well, somehow I just feel I didn't use some words or phrases in a proper way. I'd really appreciate it if someone could give me some advice or opinions about my essay. Looking forward to your feedbacks! :)
Since, nowadays, parents are more occupied with their work, the communications between theythem and their children become less. - "They" can only be used as subject, so you should change it to them.
Also, in my view, "communications" has the meaning of communication systems in general, so i think its better to use it in singular.
Children making their own decisions is of effect to keep away from wrong decisions. - Is something missing here or its some kind of expression i do not know. If this is the case, please explain to me.
I really like your essays. You have pretty wide vocabulary and I am sure that EF_Kevin is going to win the $1k he bet on you :)
when you will take the exam?
THIS MONTH. only in a few days, kind of nervous now....>_<...
muroslav:
Children making their own decisions is of effect to keep away from wrong decisions.Something missing? Well, I don't know. I meant to use "children making their own decisions" as the subject of this sentence, but I'm not quite sure that if it is right in grammar. Maybe I could just rewrite it to make it understood more easily. Like this:
Allowing children to make their own decisions is of effect (or is effective) to avoid the wrong ones.
Is that clear enough?
And thank u for your advice.:D
This is how I would write the last sentence of that first para:
And therefore, I hold a view that is opposite the view represented by the statement.
...between them and their children become less.
By allowing him making his own decisions, THEY accomplish something.
By allowing him making his own decisions, they make it possible for him to choose a better and more suitable direction for himself, so that he would develop his competence to the utmost.
You don't have to worry. I am pretty sure you will ace the test. You don't really have any errors... and your writing is more sophisticated than the writing of many native English speakers.
