I'll be offering my comments and suggested paragraph revisions below. Please take is constructively :-)
In today's modern world, there are so many intractable problems related to family issues. Some parents are inclined to work full-time in order to provide their grown-ups with enough money, however bringing up a child doesn't actually require only financial assistance but also a long-term moral support. Many think that if both parents hold out a job, it may pose much more problems than it solves.
From the point of my view, if both of the parents work outside home there will not be any financial problem to foster a child. On the other hand, there will be limited contact which, I think, may lead to the deterioration of offspring's behavior. Because they will do anything they want owing to the lack of parenting attention. Hence, parents should be more involved with their children's upbringing.
- These two paragraphs should be merged into one because this serves as your introduction that contains the restated prompt, and overview of the discussion, and your personal opinion as the thesis statement.- In today's fast paced world, family issues have spread like wildfire because parents do not have enough time to actually parent their children. The necessity of earning money has taken over the priority of child rearing. As such, children grow up with more problems than they should have had, all because their parents lacked the time to properly guide them in life. I believe that while having both parents working solves the financial problem of the family, the child suffers because of his limited contact with his parents, which leads to destructive behavior because they feel that is the only way to get their parent's attention. That is why it is important that parents do not work so much that they lose time to bond, connect, and support their children when their children need them.On the contrary to what we have mentioned above, allocating much more time on parenting than on the career will also have a negative effect on the work-life balance. Because parents will become short of money to support their offspring and to live to the fullest. If worse comes to the worst, they might go into abject poverty which they will never be able to escape from. If married couples allocate time both for work and home, getting to grips with each other, it would be one of the good exemplary actions.
- Contrary to public belief, raising a child well does not only entail having money to cover his expenses. It requires being physically present to guide and support the child during their development years as children and problematic years as teenagers. Without the balance between home and work life, parents may fail to see that their children are not benefiting from the extra income that they bring home. Parents fear not being able to financially support their children so much that they fail to understand that their parental presence and support is more important than the money they make.Based on the aforementioned statements, I can state that reconciling both parenting and working would be the best solution to tackle this problem. For instance, mother stays at home taking care of the child and the father will be a breadwinner of the family.
- This is not a concluding statement because you actually presented new information in the paragraph which, as you know, is not allowed in formal essays. So you will need to instead develop this paragraph further and then write a new conclusion to close out the essay.