Would you please help me improving this essay? I'm a beginner in writing.
Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.
Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
Almost any day of a week one could see a consulting program on public media which its focus is on the role of parents in teaching children the social and the familial behaviors. Although expert psychologists have serious concern about overlooking this phenomenon in the today society by parents, many parents believe that they can release their responsibilities to the school in which kids' social personality would be better growth. The biggest question raises in this situation is whether this kind of one dimensional growth will attack familial character of youth later on.
On the one hand, those children who have the chance of touching social environments, as being in the kindergarten, school, and even appropriate work situation, can interface with social problems in near future. They decidedly learn how to do their responsibilities as a team-member at school, for getting involved in these appropriate situations may help them to handle harder conditions which will face in society and workplace in the future. As a brilliant example, it is worth mentioning a game which kids do in Iranian Kindergarten. There are four chairs which arrange in a circle manner, and five kids who must round around these chairs, till the supervisor says stop. Afterwards kids can seat, and if one child cannot seat then all children will lose the game. For the sake of cooperation, children learn to help themselves in a game, and keep the helping lesson in their mind for the future. Hence, it is reasonable for parents to say schools can grow the social abilities of their kids.
On the other hand, there is another side of personality which relates to the familial issue, and overshadows by the social one in modern society. According to a conducted study in Oxford University, over 80 percent of children who learn how to stay in touch with other members of a family have the capability of building their own family, as a small sample of a society, in a way that shines like a diamond in the society. This study mentioned that those kids whose parents calmly say near their ears "Honey do this or honey do not do that," can decidedly make better love with their partners, which this phenomenon causes the rate of divorce dramatically falls down, and subsequently they have more patient in doing their social responsibilities. As a result, parents have the main duty of teaching their kids the way of familial and social communications so as to prepare them for touching the ceiling of success in their future life.
In conclusion, as my experience show, children as the building blocks of the future in every society should be carefully observed not to grow in one dimension at school for the sake of social relationship. Yet, they should be placed in the core of family love to prepare themselves for touching both familial and social success later on.
I wish to thank you for invaluable comments, especially "Musical Chairs" and "create adults who are more loving towards their partners". I am not native and these comments certainly help me covering my weakness.
Would you please let me know what your score regarding this essay is? I mean 6 of 9, or more or less ...
Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affects the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
A considerable jump in the communication technology was taken place in the 1950 or so, and socialists believe that proposed contributions aim at changing human life style from two sides. The glamorous side is easing communication through facilities in the cyber world which, in my opinion, overshadows the sensible human relationships, and causes new psychological and social problems to bring into focus.
Initially, in modern universe, the way people use to interact with each other has changed thanks to considerable jump in the communication technology. This invaluable growth leads many governments to implement different aspects of cyber life in their society so as to decrease the cost of living. A good example would be the Japanese society in which people visit many shops, do their purchases, pay the bills, share their knowledge, and communicate with their friends in audio/visual manner overseas in the virtual world by pressing a few keys, while they have their coffee in situation in which they lie on a comfortable sofa. Hence, it is worth mentioning that technical communications bring many benefits for today's society which makes living easier than one could imagine.
Nonetheless, socialist and psychologist have many concerns about this kind of relationships people make. Cybercrime, as a child of technology, causes modern societies facing severe and unsolvable problems. Researches show that rate of cybercrime dramatically increases in a same line with the change of technology. My experience shows that many people just do their works online without taking preventing actions into place. They use a physical keyboard instead of virtual keyboard to enter their credit card information, and a thief easily decodes the signals to use the credit card illegally. Therefore, social and economical disorders are the biggest problems that today society faces.
Psychologists of Oxford University study social disabilities to which modern communicational technology may lead. They have observed the treatments of 50 kids who have touched all kinds of cyber facilities and modern technologies during their growth. After 20 years of living and communicating in virtual world, these teenagers lack the capability of doing team works, and staying in touch with other people, because they have never sensed the joy real world relationship. These psychologists survey that those people who involves in computer generated communication more than usual will decidedly forget the real life communication, and cannot take after their family and themselves adequately. Therefore, this kind of virtual relationships people make not only causes many psychological disorders, but also make doing social behavior for human difficult.
To summarize this essay, it should be noted that although technology makes living easy, and has many economical, communicational, environmental benefits, it knows as the root of many social and psychological problems. Therefore, it is the main duty of governments to establish a trade of between real and virtual relationships so as to make society a better place for living.
