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IELTS 2 : Parents should be required to take a course that prepares them to be good parents.

Seba0901 1 / 4  
Jun 8, 2019   #1

parenting preparation course is necessary

Child-rearing plays an important role in society as well as in the development of human being. Nevertheless, this tough job often makes unexperienced couples harassed and frustrated. This leads to the claim that all parents should take a training course, which aims to enhance their nurture skills before having a child. I completely agree, believing that the parenting course is necessary for all mothers and fathers.

The first reason is that parents can learn appropriate and pragmatic education methods in the preparation course. Educationalists and experienced lecturers cast light on nursing and educating their offspring, which usually bewilder these beginner parents. With good understanding of childcares and emotional developments, parents are able to empathize children's emotions and feelings, building a close-knit family, the perfect environment for bringing up a lovely child. For instance, when entering adolescence, children may misbehave or be emotionally distant. With adequate mental preparations and practical communication skills learned from courses, parents can be their positive role models and reinforce family relationship more easily.

The second reason for taking parenting curriculums is that these soon-to-be parents can meet other students who also prepared to be responsible parents. These classmates will face the same, grueling, and prolonged challenge, child-rearing, in the near future. Therefore, after the course, these acquaintances can have a memorable family trip together, and share the information and experiences of parent-child relationship to the others, helping solve the difficult rearing problems.

To conclude, with its opportunity to acquire parenting knowledge and join parenting groups, taking a preparation course is necessary for all mothers and fathers.

Thanks for your advice!!

Maria - / 1,100 389  
Jun 8, 2019   #2

Seeing as you are new here, welcome!

First and foremost, the composition of your essay is well-done. I think that the overall structure is good on its own. You had variations of lengths, consistency, and an elaborate format. Good job on this.

That being said, however, I can notice that there were instances wherein you had quite a repetitive tone. This was mostly in portions wherein you were explaining a little bit too much on the edge without taking into due consideration how synonymous your terminologies already are. For instance, is it really necessary to say educationalists and experienced lecturers? You could go on with just one of these terms and omit the other. This will leave you more space for fruitful discussion (ie. elaborating more in your concluding part). This goes the same with saying that parents should be able to empathize with children's emotions and feelings - both these terms have a similar undertone and meaning. You can choose to eliminate one part over the other.

Once you have accomplished this, you'll have more space for essential discussions. Bear this in mind.

Best of luck in your writing endeavors!
OP Seba0901 1 / 4  
Jun 9, 2019   #3
Thanks for your advice! it's very helpful!
I'll revise it!

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