Hi patrick Jarguz,
however Tam Le has been corrected your essay in relation to missed spelling, allow me to correct it again with the specific spots.MISSED SPELLING CORRECTION
it should be = equivalently
it should be = equallyGRAMMATICAL ERROR CORRECTION
mothers should to have impact on
modal verbs have no infinitive or -ing form
so that, the sentence should be = mother should have impact on
.... is due to the fact it can has a positive influence on our kids...
modal verbs are not usually followed by "s" the third person singular.
you probably can open your grammar book about auxiliary verb agreement
, or if you do not mind I will copy the formula from another blog for you.
so that, the sentence should be = ...is due to the fact it can have a positive influence on our kids....
money , I strongly
parents , are
Besides that , kids
Therefore , children
schoolmates , sport and entertainment , which
For instance , my cousin
In result , some
In conclusion , it proves that despite the stereotypes , father are equally
put a coma appropriately. it means you should put a space after a coma, you are not allowed to put a space before a coma.
so that, it should be =money, I strongly believe
Besides that, kids
schoolmates, sport and entertainment, which
For instance, my cousin
In result, some
In conclusion, it proves that despite the stereotypes, father are equally
1.) your conclusion is quite short, I am afraid you cannot achieve score 6.5 or higher
2.) to get higher score I firmly believe that we should position ourselves as a writer (a third person)
KEEP SPIRIT, KEEP STUDY! ;)