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Both parents and school should obligate to keep the children fit.


hailun11 12 / 14 3  
Aug 26, 2016   #1
Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Nowadays, an unhealthy way of life has become a highlighted topic for kids. Both parents and school should obligate this matter to keep the children fit. However, not only parents and school but also government has to overcome this situation.

First of all, every parent absolutely wants to get their children growing healthful. Therefore, the role of parents is needed for their children to get healthy body. They have an authority to teach their youngster for keeping the stamina every day. Here, family could share at home how to get healthy food every time. For example, a mother makes healthy menu at home with many variations could attract kids to like it. This ways can avoid children to buy some food from outside. As long as a Mom always reserves them and support sufficient nutrition-there is not to worry about in poor condition lifestyle.

Second of all, not also from parents could teach their children to get suitable life but also the school has authority for contribute about this case. The school could explain what is the essential for human to save their body. For instance, A teacher tells if a human needs good or health absorption because could influence our physically so far. May be teacher clarifies or describe by video, newspaper, or research about the impact which would happen later.

Third of all, in addition, the state also has part of this topic because government should save their citizen for long term particularly for next generation (children). Government could make policy with healthy minister to ignore bad lifestyle by the role state.

In conclusion, between parents, school and stakeholders have responsibility position for kids today and next day. Children are an asset to next years, so among of them should cooperate for maintenance teens.

swr10 10 / 16 2  
Aug 26, 2016   #2
@hailun11,

This my suggestion:

Nowadays --> "Nowadays" is an ancient vocabularies, therefore you need to change this word to be"these days"or"this recent decade".

an unhealthy way of life --> unhealthy lifestyle.

has become a highlighted topic for kids --> this sentence is pretty confusing because this motion is not for kids, but it is for adult, teacher or parents.
azmi23 17 / 28 3  
Aug 28, 2016   #3
hi! i give you some corrections and a suggestion . hope it would be helpful

Nowadays, an unhealthy way of life has become [...] government has to overcome this situation. * better if put one or two reasons why is keeping children fit is important and why it is a responsibility for parents, schools, and government. just to make your introduction more powerful!

... at home with many variations that/which could attract kids to like it.
... always reserves them and supports sufficient nutrition-there is not ...

... or health absorption because it could influence our ...

Government could make policy with healthy minister to ignore bad ...

In conclusion, betweenall aspects including parents, school and stakeholders have ...


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