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Writing Task 2 - Should Parents or School Teach Kids to be good? - Discuss Both Views


ibe13 36 / 50 9  
Oct 30, 2016   #1
Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

To be nice people, children might be taught earlier. Some people argue parents have responsibility to teach them while others have another arguments in which school is the best place to train children better. In my perspective, both parents and school have each contribution to develop children's attitudes.

Admittedly, children have more time to learn how to be good person with their parents. This is because parents have closest relationship with them. Therefore, kids can make their parents as good role model how to behave more polite to others. Taking my experience as an example, when I was a child, my father used to invite me to join some meetings whose participants are the famous people in my hometown. As a result, I personally feel more confident to meet people even they are from in the famous because I used to make a conversation with them.

On the other hand, school also has an important contribution to make children sociable. It is because school is the second place where school-ages spend their time. Thus, school has big opportunity to teach and control them how to socialize with their friends. For instance, 60 percent of school in Indonesia utilize curriculum based on "gotong royong" where all subjects in school should be integrated about how to children improve their social skills such as how to be more polite with the elder and their friends. In short, school also has to encourage students to be more successful in their environment.

To sum up, I believe children cannot change their bad habits unless they gain more lessons from both their parents and school. Therefore, both of them should collaborate to find the way how to educate their kids effectively because without paying attention from both, children will be impolite person in their future.

(299 words)

RAY93 35 / 186 136  
Oct 31, 2016   #2
INTRODUCTION

overall, it well developed. you introduced both notions and then wrote your own opinion related to those.

..., children might be NEED TO BE taught earlier.
... while others have another arguments in which school .....

BODY PARAGRAPH
1st paragraph: Appropriate idea and explanation, but giving inadequate example. less developed idea

... to learn how to be good person withFROM their parents. This is because parents have THE closest relationship with them.
... parents as good role models ON how to behave ...
Taking my experience as an example, when I was a child, my father used to invite me to join some meetings whose participants are the famous people in my hometown. As a result, I personally feel more confident to meet people even they are from in the famous because I used to make a conversation with them.FEEL CONFIDENT TO TALK WITH RENOWNED PERSONS IS NOT AN ADEQUATE EXAMPLE OF GOOD ATTITUDE.

2nd paragraph:
... where school-ages spend MOST their time. Thus, school has big opportunity to teach and control them how to socialize with their friends.HOW IMPORTANT SOCIALIZING WITH FRIENDS IN ORDER TO BUILD WELL CHARACTER IN CHILDREN FOR THE FUTURE?

... encourage students to be more successful in their environment.WHY IT IS IMPORTANT FOR SCHOOL TO DO THIS??

CONCLUSION

... kids effectively because without payingGETTING attention from both, children will be impolite personWHY ONLY IMPOLITE BEHAVIOUR IS ASSOCIATED WITH GOOD MEMBERS OF SOCIETY HERE? in their future.

OVERALL, YOU ADDRESSED THE TASK RESPONSE WELL ALTHOUGH YOU PRESENTED YOUR IDEAS POORLY..


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