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Both parents and schools hold the roles for children healthy lifestyle


Bunglon11 28 / 31 5  
Jan 28, 2016   #1
Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both of schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem. Do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that both parents and school hold the crucial role that have high influence to young child health activities. While other aspects have important impact, I personally argue that both parents and school are the best role model for the children.

It is true that both parents and school have more responsibilities to kids' activities because most of their time is spent at home and school. Parents as the role model hold the crucial aspect for the habit. For instance, activities such as stay up, a lots media usage, activity out of home, and nutrition have to be controlled by parents who have high authority at home. In school as the second home for students, have to lead student activities when they are uncontrolled by their parents. The teachers must introduce student to always live clean such as throwing the trash into the rubbish box, washing hand habit, cleaning room. Those are able to show how to live better. As a result, when young child copy good role model from their parents and follow the regulation from the school, those are able to lead them into health activities. It is clear that both parents and school should be aware of students activities to direct them in better way of life.

However, this does not mean that the other factors should be completely neglected. Media, as the public advertisement, holds the important role to publish the healthy lifestyle program. Government as highest authority holder must be more responsible about life changes in its country. It should develop the regulation which is able to lead the citizen to face better life. Ministry of health should take a part for health activities for the residences. Health authority should promote the health prevention for the youth generation. It is clear that all of parts in a country should take part in prevention of lifestyle change to face the challenge of worldwide development.

In conclusion, I personally believe that both parents and school are the most crucial aspects since their responsibilities are needed to lead young children activities to better way of life. Other factors should take part to influence the healthy lifestyle.

sntinn 8 / 36 9  
Jan 28, 2016   #2
Prompt: Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both of schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem. Do you agree or disagree?

Your response (from what I understood): both parents and school are the best role model for the children.

My comments/suggestion: I think your response is quite smart. Additionally, you may consider another viewpoint, that is, the students should have their control over their choices. But this depends on how you think about the prompt right? :)

There are some minor grammar mistakes though. So, my correction is as follows:

1st paragraph

It is argued thatB oth parents and school hold ...
... both parents and schools are the best role model for the children.

2nd paragraph

It is true thatB oth parents and schools have more responsibilities to kids' activities because students spent most of their time is spent at home and schools . Parents , as the role model, hold the crucial aspect for thetheir children's habit. For instance, activities such as stay up,leisure habits,a lots media consuming habitsusage , out-door activitiesout of home , and eating habitsnutritionhave to beare controlled by parents ...
In sS chools, as the second home for students, have to lead studentschool's activities whenwhiletheythese children are not inuncontrolled by their parents's control . The teachers must introduce students to always live clean such ...
As a result, when young children copy good role model (...) from the schools , theythose are able to lead them into health activities. It is clear that both parents and school should be aware of students activities to direct them in better way of life.

3rd paragraph

It should develop the regulation which is able to leadstheits citizen to facehave a better life. Ministry of health should take part in improvinga part for health activities for the residences.
... parts in a country should take partbe responsibleinfor prevention of lifestyle changeunhealthy habitsto faceagainst the challenge of global media and healthworldwide development .

... both parents and schools are the most crucial aspects ...
Other factors should take partbe considered to influencepromote the healthy lifestyle.


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