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TOEFL: Parents try to help children to be successful in their academic performance


legend777 5 / 14 2  
Nov 10, 2013   #1
From early times educated people have special respect in their society. Nowadays, in most of the countries primary school is the least level of the education. To educate children efficiently is one of the hottest debates in today's world. So in my point of view parents are now more concerned about children's education and they try to help their children to be successful in their academic performance, because education plays a crucial role in this modern world .

One of the significant changes in modern life is that education is necessary to be professional and gain success in life. In the past, people traditionally learn their ancestors jobs and follow their fathers works to make living. For instance my grand father was illiterate; however he practically learned how to work in market and buy and sell goods from his father. He was great at business and he became famous and rich in his life time. Compare in recent time, he cannot be a successful business man without academic background and no one will respect him.

Another significant change occurred recently in educational system; new methods need the parent to be participated in their children education. Recent studies showed that children whom have encouraging and helpful parents, are more successful in their academic life. Due to this studies schools want the parent to take participated in parental sessions to cooperate with them to assist their children in their education and behaviors.

From another aspect, modern children are exposed to lots of improper actions and deviations. Consider the new technology, internet has changed the life of many students in world. Internet have it's own advantages for educational purpose, but if children use it in time consuming way for playing, it will be harmful to their academic performance. According to this point, not only should parents control internet use of children, but also they should assist them to work on their school stuffs.

All in all, nowadays life has changed in lot of aspects especially education. I firmly believe that in this modern life it is highly important that parents involve in their child's education to make sure they will follow the right way of success.

dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Nov 10, 2013   #2
From early times educated people have special respect in their society.

Educated people are received with much respect in our society.

Nowadays, in most of the countries primary school is the least level of the education.

I don't find this has much relevance to your topic and also for the flow. Now quickly start introducing the background of the argument.

It is always good to conclude your introduction with a statement that clearly express your view. I have suggested you the structure for the introduction in your previous essays. I wish you followed it. :)
OP legend777 5 / 14 2  
Nov 10, 2013   #3
thanks dumi :) Could you please C if I have some grammatical mistakes?
phuongnam95 9 / 28  
Nov 10, 2013   #4
Due to this studies schools want the parent to take participated in parental sessions to cooperate with them to assist their children in their education and behaviors.

-> Due to these studies, schools...

follow their fathers works

-> fathers' jobs (work is uncountable)

Internet have it's own advantages

-> Internet has its..


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