'both of parents go out to work' - task 2 writing

Ielts topic: "in today's competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents to go out to work . While some say the children in the families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parents' absence

Do:
All parents want to give their children the best condition to live and study so both of them go out to work. Some people believe that additional income provide higher living standard, in the other hand, others say this make children live without enough support from their children. To be lack support or not to be is a common problem of almost families in the world.

Families which both parents work hard with high salaries supply their children better living condition. If they do not have enough money, they will not have a chance to pay for comfortable house, delicious meal and good study environment. As an example, my family move from countryside to the capital. It is difficult to buy house or car with small salary of one parent unless he or she is a millionaire. Actually, to live a hand to a mouth in a city is a not easy problem. Every households spend the bulk of budget on electronic bill, food and accommodation, moreover prices are increasing day by day while annual salaries stand unchanged

Although, some people think that parents work so busily to earn money that they have no time for their babies. Teenagers need advices from their parents in this age but they only get parents' absence. By no means do children develop good characteristic without parents' love. Society witnessed that numerous children lost their direction and were lured into social evils with irresponsible parents abandoning. Teenagers often follow their parents' steps to improve themselves and if parents do not care of them, they will be vulnerable to social illness.

Under no circumstance do parents hope that their children have great life so they will choose the best option to support full life with better service. Parents not only earn sufficient money but also spend time on taking care of their children.

All parents want to give (provide) their children the best conditions to live and study so(therefore, "so" is mainly use in spoken language) both of them go out to work. Some people believe that additional income provide higher living standard (the higher the additional income the better the living standards) , in the other hand, others say that this make children live without enough support from their childrenof their parents . To be lack support or not to be is a common problem of almost families in the world.

Families of which both parents work hard withfor high salaries supply their children better living condition. If they do not have enough money, they will not have a chance to pay for comfortable house, delicious meals and good study environment. As an example, my family move from countryside to the capital. It is difficult to buy house or car with small salary of one parent(only farther or mother) unless he or she is a millionaire. Actually, to live a hand to a mouth in a city is a not a easy problem. Every households spend the bulk of budget on electronic bill, food and accommodation, moreover prices are increasing day by day while annual salaries stand unchanged

Although, some people think that parents work so busilybusy to earn money that they have no time for their babies. Teenagers need advices from their parents in this ageperiod but they only get parents' absence (the only thing they get is parents' absence) . By no means do children develop good characteristic without parents' love. Society witnessed that numerous children lost their direction and were lured into social evils withby irresponsible parents abandoning. Teenagers often follow their parents' steps to improve themselves and if parents do not care ofabout them, they will be vulnerable to social illness.(I like this point :) )

Under no circumstance do(??) parents hope that their children have great life so they will choose the best option to support full life with better service. Parents are not only earn sufficient money but also spend time on taking care of their children. (What does this mean ? Where is your conclusion ?)

By the way may be you can get more detail feedback if your include the topic question ?

Thank u so much