Ielts Writing part 2 - As languages such as English, Spanish and Mandarin become more widely ...

Hello everyone, I'm newbie. I'm practicing IELTS writing part 2, I'm so happy if you can give me some comments. Thank you so much!!

saving dying tongues

Topic: As languages such as English, Spanish and Mandarin become more widely spoken, there is a fear that many minority languages may die out. Some countries have taken steps to protect minority languages

Essay:
Many people predict that some minority languages are driven to the border of extinction because people often tend to learn common languages such as English, Spanish and Mandarin. This essay will give some solutions to this problem.

The first approach is to improve studying condition for learners. Some people believe that there is still a group of people want to learn uncommon languages. However, it can be an impossible mission because they mostly cannot find a teacher and language materials are limited. For instance, one person wants to study Irish which is well-known as less popularity, he will find studying program and document. Nevertheless, there is not much useful information about this language. Therefore, he changes another language. That is reason why it is necessary to create a bigger environment learner to study.

The second approach is to increase the benefit of learning minority. Nowadays, people usually choose popular languages because it gives them a chance to have a well-paid job. Therefore, when requiring more people speaking minority such as Irish or Tami, more people will learn these languages. For example, government will establish an international training for citizens who can speak Irish next year, it is patently obvious that there is a larger demand for learning this language.

In conclusion, it is important to preserve the minority languages. Thereby studying conditional improvement and beneficial increasing, the number of endangered language will be lessened.

(234 words)

Nguyen, actually, you will not get a very low score for this essay, you will automatically get a failing score for writing under the word count because points will be deducted for each word that is lacking from the maximum. When that is added to the other problems within the scoring brackets, you will not have enough point considerations left over to win you a passing score.

Now, I am unable to decipher whether or not your discussion method is relevant to the prompt because of the missing prompt discussion instruction. Please remember to provide that the next time you post asking for a review. I cannot assess the true quality of your work based on the prompt and scoring requirements without it. As of now, I would like you to focus on increasing your word count to the proper number so that you can at least have a chance of getting a passing score. At the moment, it is useless to review your work because of the word count problem.