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[IELTS Writing part 2] Playing computer games is harmful. Do you agree with it?

mandyduong 4 / 9  
May 21, 2017   #1

the influence of computer games on players

In recent decades, playing computer games has become a popular activity for children of all ages. Many people claim that this hobby offers few benefits beyond entertainment or relaxation and may, in fact, be harmful to a child's development. Do you agree with this statement?

Recently, computer games have become greatly popular all over the world, especially to the young people. While many people don't think this sort of entertainment can bring any good impacts to children, I personally support it as long as the children use it under parental guidance.

Children should be playing computer games after schools or classes because it is very useful and relaxing. They can learn plenty skills from the games such as problem solving, teamwork and strategic skills. For example, Play Stations, a popular football game is designed carefully and visually which encourages kids' develop their creativity and strategies. They learn and practice how to control the ball, pass them to teammates and goal skillfully. It is believed that under parents' observation, the kids also practice their discipline and time management when dads and moms set times to do their homework or assignments. The kids are rewarded to play games if they meet the deadlines.

Playing games is also an economical form of entertainment.Spending time at bars, clubs or live-shows can cost the youth millions Vietnam dongs whereas they can merely stay home and enjoy video games with their family and friends with a small amount of money or even none. Joining outdoor activities require equipment, vehicles or expensive outfits. In contrast, children can access online games by laptops or cellphones without buying any other extra appliances. A game, for example, averagely charges under 30,000 dongs for annual use which is very budget saving.

It is said that computer games can addict the young people at all ages from which they get distracted and ignore important things in their life. However, I believe the benefits online games bring to us outweigh the drawbacks. Online games themselves are not harmful, thus how they are used within control to make the best use is the most important.
flykitten 5 / 9 4  
May 22, 2017   #2

I think your writing is well written. I will only correct some grammatical error
for playing games
live shows
wtangalang - / 14 1  
May 23, 2017   #3
There are some sound arguments in the essay, but I would reconsider the arguments made in paragraph 4. Each individual has distinct money values, so presenting that argument is rather weak.

Home / Writing Feedback / [IELTS Writing part 2] Playing computer games is harmful. Do you agree with it?