GRE: past achievement within a field may consequently lead to more success

Dear all, would you like to help me to modify this article? Thank you very much... I am preparing my GRE and hope I can have better score in writing...

Topic: "In any field of endeavor, it is impossible to make a significant contribution without first being strongly influenced by past achievements within that field."

Instructions: Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

When it comes to the issue whether it is impossible to make a significant contribution without first being influenced by past achievements, people hold different opinions. Despite the strengtheness of achievement experience, I want to argue that without significant past achievement in one field, people can still achieve splendidly, for the following reasons.

First of all, in some fields, creativity occupies more important position than other qualities such as experience. Arts, writing, music composing, all acquire more creativities than experience and mature skills. For example, J.K. Rowling did not achieve anything in writing before she finished her astounding novel, Harry Potter. Vincent Van Gogh could be a worse realistism painter than other painter in his age, however, his creative painting skills in impressionism made him one of the greatest master in fine arts history. Both of them did not achieve anything in their field until their own creativities make them an icon.

Furthermore, hiring people from different discipline may bring new thinking and inspire new conception and idea(s?) of a field. Based on this idea, inter-discipline research was popular since last 20 years. In the history of science, many new discoveries were not contributed by the one who's in that field. One case is, once a physicist doing experiment with some cells, he associated what he observe with magnetic field and modify the experiment which improve that one chemical component can kill some cells then discover the first anti-cancer drug. In this case different idea of other field (physics) was imply into cell experiments and finally results in the rug discovery in medicine.

Finally, except achievements in the past, potential also play a key role on success. On the other hand, what university teach us should not be knowledge only, but also the way of thinking and learning new skills, as if you consider many people don't make their career as the same as what they major in university after graduation. Therefor it is the ways of speculation, the skills of learning, support university graduated students to achieve in other field.

In conclusion, given the discussions about a past achievement within a field may consequently lead to more success, I still believe people who is infamous in one field can achieve high with their creativities, different ways of thinking from other discipline, potential, the skill of learning and thinking, because these factors can also lead to success in one particular field.

P.S. On the "Finally" paragrapgh I was planing to give an example about the first female CEO of ebay, she was a housewife before and after 20 years stay at home she become a CEO (starts as a secretary), however after search information on internet I found my example was wrong, there was no CEO with that housewife experiment...I thought there was one but not the CEO of ebay..so which big IT company hire a female CEO like that? Can anyone tell me whom she was?

When the issue comes whether it is impossible to make a significant contribution without first being influenced by past achievements You should not directly copy the statement but change a bit: when the issue comes, that whether the influence of past achievement is possible or not to make a significant contribution within one field , people express/have different opinions. Despite the strengtheness of achievement experience, I want to argue that without significant past achievement in one field, people can still achieve splendidly, for the following reasons

Good introduction. The part I highlighted is the only section that is not delivered very clearly. I feel you better re-phrase that part.


The fields such as art, writing, poetry, music etc. place more weight on creativeness that in most cases are very novel and not really supported by past achievements.


Well.... I feel your prompt does not speak about achievements of that person alone. It speaks about prior knowledge of achievements in the field. So, those achievements may be someone else's.