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Over the past few decades, the world has been morphing into the era of globalisation


NguyenLinh 1 / -  
Aug 5, 2021   #1

Writing task 2: Globalisation



Task 2: It has been said that the world is becoming a global village in which there are no boundaries to trade and communication.
Do the benefits of globalisation outweigh the drawbacks?


Over the past few decades, the world has been morphing into the era of globalisation where there are no limitations regarding trade and communication. Many people claim that this phenomenon can lead to a manifold of advantages, while others argue that it may result in numerous undesirable effects. From my perspective, globalisation does more harm than good and this essay will elaborate the aforementioned idea.

On the one hand, it is qualitative for some people to believe that globalisation poses positive impacts on people's lives. Evidently, via cooperation and integration, humans stand a good chance of broadening their knowledge. It is beyond-disputed that by communicating with friends all over the world, people can have an insight into not only their languages but also their cultures. However, there is a growing number of social media as well as websites that would enable them to learn about other countries and visualize their daily lives.

On the other hand, globalisation may trigger cultural assimilation. Since many traditions are rapidly imported into the country, all of which are extremely appealing and novel, people's curiosity will be stimulated. As a consequence, in order to keep track of these trends, people, especially youngsters may flock into using foreign products, listening to foreign songs regardless of their qualities. Subsequently, an enormous number of traditional customs will be eradicated.

Moreover, this tendency will badly affect the living standard of indigenous residents. Due to mass tourism, the government may be incapable of controlling the massive immigration of people from other countries. It is irrefutable that many fatal diseases are attributed to this consequence. For example, during the Covid-19 pandemic, citizens in England have been contracted to the virus variants due to a group of immigrants coming from Nigeria. Therefore, if the authority has not been well-prepared for the unexpected aftermaths, trade and communication must be limited.

To recapitulate, the drawbacks of globalisation are prone to prevail over its benefits. Therefore, each country should be equipped with strict regulations along with careful supervision so as to monitor this controversial inclination.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,835 4782  
Aug 6, 2021   #2
In the restatement paragraph, the original words trade and communication were not replaced by the writer. Synonyms should have been used ( e.g. trade= business, communication = correspondence) to show some vocabulary range. In the opinion presentation, there is no need to specify, "and this essay will elaborate the aforementioned idea." since that is already known to the reader. Only an opinion sentence should be found in that paragraph.

If using a comparative discussion, the 2 paragraphs should use the following format:

Sentence 1 - Topic representing a benefit
Sentence 2 - Reason it is believed to be a benefit
Sentence 3 - Reason it is a drawback
Sentence 4 - Example of the drawback
Sentence 5 - Additional explanation or transition to next paragraph.

The idea is to disprove the benefits to prove the writer's opinion as correct both times.


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