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IELTS writing task 2 about patriotism.

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Apr 8, 2022   #1
Some people say patriotism causes problems and is negative overall. Others feel that it is beneficial for society at large.

Do the advantages of patriotism outweigh its disadvantages?

Patriotism is regarded as a must-have characteristic for mankind in any era. However, some people hold the view that it can cause abysmal effects overall, while others believe that it is more of an advantageous trait which overwhelms its downside. From my point of view, I radically agree with the latter statement, which will be elaborated further in my essay.

To begin with, patriotism has some negative effects. It might be abused badly by terrorists by altering residents' attitude on the government. For example, in the past, some communities were poorly educated, residents could be misled by the wrong definition of "patriotism". Terrorists can distort the truth to raise the war against government or make excuses for their illegal activities by patriotism.

However, the upsides of patriotism manifestly outshine its disadvantages. Thanks to the wide uptake of cutting-edge technology, most people are kept posted as well as educated well. Therefore, hardly can patriotism be misinterpreted by people, which nearly obligates its detrimental downside. To illustrate, the daily news can help people to keep track of news about terrorism or bad religions so that they can avoid them. Moreover, patriotism can help the government with managing the country since it strengthens the relationship between government and residents. In addition, should there be any wars in the future, patriotism is the meat and potatoes for victory beside weapons.

In conclusion, although each coin has two sides, it is my conviction that patriotism brings a sweeping range of profit rather than causes detrimental impacts.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 12,856 4178  
Apr 9, 2022   #2
It is important that no additional information that represents the writer's opinion integrates itself into the prompt restatement. The prompt restatement should only be 2 sentences long, representing the original 2 opinions. The wording regarding the importance of patriotism as a must have character should be part of the writer's opinion, representing the thesis statement of his point of view. For a stronger scoring opinion statement, the writer should present it as follows:

...I radically agree with the latter statement BECAUSE patriotism is regarded as a must-have characteristic for mankind in any era.

The writer's opinion becomes clearer and with a stronger foundation due to the reasoning paragraph that is attached to the presentation. The reason for the opinion creates a simple understanding of what the succeeding paragraphs will be discussing. This summarized opinion statement increases the TA score each time.

I need to point out though that the use of the exaggerated response "radically" agree is not necessary in this case. Not being an extent essay, there is no need for the writer to get too emotional or quantify his opinion. A simple statement will suffice were an extent is not indicated for the response.

In order to avoid a wrong response format, the writer needs to get used to writing in a debate style. That means, he does not present a positive paragraph then a negative paragraph. Rather, he disproves the opposing opinion so that his opinion appears to be the correct one. Look for faults in the opinion that is not supported and present those to the reader. That is how the essay can convince the reader that his opinion is correct. It will also be following the appropriate single opinion format presentation. As of now, the writer is not presenting his opinion in the correct manner.

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