Pattern of studying plays a major crucial aspect (1) in (2) academic achievements. Some students argue that (3) sharing ideas together in a class...
Therefore, I'm (4) personally argue that study alone acquires more (5) concentration in obtaining the ...
(1)aspect to/from
(2)students' academic attainment
(3) As this sentence didn't support the topic well, I would say that this adds no complete idea.
For the sentence, let me give a try:
Some students argue that study group expects to everyone participate actively in class discussions.(4) It is always better when you present this with an active sentence.
(5) more DEEP concentration ON
(1) Majority of students in the same places ...
... environment based on student (2) perspective.
(1) you need more work to deal with the flow of the sentence. Here is an example of a topic sentence:
I would argue that students who conduct their own study groups will generate a huge demand for a high level of proficiency in a particular major, as they can share materials collaboratively toward the same goals.(2)perspectives
However, studying alone is more likely (1) gaining some benefits for pupils.
This does not mean that (2) you are (...) it means (2) you need to do assignments ...
... have an excellent learning is how (2) we enable to master the ...
The quite silent situation acquires (2) our brain to study hard ...
(1)to gain
(2)Academic writing should be written from a third person's view. This means that as a writer, you discuss the topic as an outsider, and the reader also reads your essay as an outsider.