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IELTS WRITING TASK 2: PEER PRESSURE



DThanh 1 / -  
Apr 24, 2025   #1
Topic: Young people are often influenced in their behaviors by others in the same age group. Some argue that peer pressure is important while others feel it has distinct disadvantages. Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages?

The impact of peer pressure on the current young demographic typically arises from other prevailing behaviors. One school of thought holds that peer pressure plays an integral part in children's lives, while others assert that this holds some particular downsides. This essay attempts to shed light on both perspectives of this tendency before elucidating that this is indeed an encouraging trend.

On the one hand, it is beyond a shadow of a doubt that considerable peer influence is somewhat detrimental to students. First and foremost, it could be to blame for their deterioration in overall well-being. Indeed, a myriad of youngsters presently conform to social acceptance and excessively follow their fellows at the expense of current health, which in turn results in multiple mental problems, such as depression and anxiety disorders. Furthermore, one serious repercussion attributable to this trend is the increased erosion of students' academic performance. Since their perception is blurred by other deviant actions, they might feel compelled to engage in aberrant behaviors, such as underage drinking, by virtue of being inclusive. Consequently, this could largely disrupt the study progress by wholly immersing themselves in the improper attitudes.

On the other hand, there are a host of compelling reasons as to why I am inclined to the viewpoint that peer pressure could yield notable benefits. One rationale is that it could serve as an incentive in educational learning. To further clarify, numerous well-educated students view peer pressure as an opportunity to healthily compete with others in professional domains, thereby expanding their understanding and fostering holistic growth. Another justification is that essential attributes often derive from peer influence. It, for instance, stimulates students to have stamina to withstand, coupled with self-dependence and determination while seeking other positive aspects, so that they could mitigate any heavier pressures and adversities from society and future life.

In conclusion, although it is irrefutable that peer pressure may have deleterious implications for the young generation, I am wholeheartedly of the conviction that it bestows some virtues by orienting themselves precisely.

P/s: Could you mark my essay based on 4 criteria after reading it? Thanks a lot!
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15634  
Apr 27, 2025   #2
This would be considered a failing essay because it altered the prompt discussion requirements. The paraphrasing is incorrect and the discussion format is not what was instructed in the original prompt. To be clear, you are to discuss: Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages? In your writer's opinion though, you did not respond to this question, which was to be the basis of your thesis statement. Instead, you created your own discussion prompt which is: This essay attempts to shed light on both perspectives of this tendency before elucidating that this is indeed an encouraging trend.

Do you see how the alteration changed the focus of the paper? As such, the examiner will give your opening paragraph a failing task accuracy mark, leading to an overall failing score for the paper in the end, regardless of how well you discussed your topic. It is not the correct topic for discussion. You did not understand the assignment.


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