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People in the UK above the age of 4, who chose either listen to the radio or watch TV during one day


Titus14 5 / 11 1  
Jun 27, 2016   #1
The graph below shows radio and television audiences of United Kingdom throughout the day in the year 1992.

The diagram provides information of the people in the UK above the age of 4, who chose either listen to the radio or watch television throughout the day in the year of 1992.

According to the chart, the radio audiences had raised sharply from 6 to about 8 AM, peaking at the percentage of 25. Although the number had increased a little at around 5 PM, the trend was downward for the rest of the day.

Unlike radio, the television line had come to its peak at around 8 PM. The number dropped dramatically from 10 to 12 at night. However, both radio and television had 15 per cent of audiences when it came close to 2 PM. From then, the television audiences leveled off til 8 PM.

By looking at the graph, there were much more UK audiences preferred watching TV rather than listening to radio. Throughout the day, TV was more popular in the UK.

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Could anyone tell me is it necessary (or allowed) to write a conclusion in IELTS writing task 1?
Thank you for offering your help!

Naomi



ichanpants89 [Contributor] 16 / 777 309  
Jun 27, 2016   #2
Naomi, in the descriptions below are my contributions towards your essay. I hope you can follow through the feedback given.

- The diagram provides the information ofabout the people in the UK above the...
- According to the chart, from 6 to 8 AM the number of radio audiences had raised sharply,...from 6 to about 8 AM . (avoid ambiguity, your previous sentence was unclear whether the radio audiences had raised, or the time had raised from 6 to 8 AM.)

- From 10 to 12 at night, the number of listeners/viewers dropped dramatically from 10 to 12 at night.(another ambiguity problem)
- From then, at 8 PM, the television audiences leveled off til 8 PM.

As seen, some modifications would be helpful for the next practice. Then, with regards to you question, I would say yes it is necessary. However, the language use is somewhat different. In Task 2 you have to write "conclusion", in Task 1 you must write "overview". You can see in the IELTS band descriptors of writing task 1, especially in task response part. If you want to get band 6 or above you need to "present an overview with information appropriately selected".
OP Titus14 5 / 11 1  
Jun 28, 2016   #3
Thank you for your feedback!
Now I understand the language has differences between task 1 and 2, but I am not so sure what you have mentioned about 'overview' and 'conclusion'.

I would like to know is it fine to write an overview in task 1 after the introduction (in the first paragraph). Or should I write two overviews (in the first and last paragraph) ?

Thank you!
justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
Jun 28, 2016   #4
Hi Naomi, aside from knowing the difference between task 1 and task 2, you also have to know the difference between an essay and and analysis. It may seem easy to understand, however, you have to know this in order to make sure that you write exactly what is asked of you to write.

An essay, is a short writing piece that answers a particular topic, an analysis on the other hand is a detailed examination of a given representation, graph, diagram or a picture. Furthermore, an analysis can be less formal but more towards making sure that the information is properly depicted in your writing.

Reading through your analysis, I must say that it lacks a few more sentences that will properly transition your ideas and elaborate or shall I say, analyze the presented graph. In revising your analysis, mind the clarity of your information, immerse yourself on the given graph and then start writing your analysis, pretty much, in understanding your graph, you will know how to tell a story about it. I hope to review the revision soon.


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