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People who achieved incredible success in their life seem not to encounter a failure.


Shokhusrav 10 / 27  
Apr 12, 2014   #1
"Failure is proof that the desire was not strong enough"
To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer

People who achieved incredible success in their life seem not to encounter a failure. It is claimed that they got what they need without much effort. However, this view, in my opinion is not correct. Failure is something that everyone experiences during the lifetime, but successful people are able to overcome this ordeal. Hence, it can be said that failure is an outcome of a weak desire. This essay agrees with the statement and will show reasons which support this.

To begin with, failure is an obstacle that should be gone through. It tests people's desire and purposefulness. For example, Edwin Barnes, a person whose desire was to become a partner of Thomas Edison, had nothing. He had only an aim and a desire to achieve it. Therefore, it is right to say that Barnes had a misfortune from the beginning. This may be sufficient to discourage many people from their purpose, but Barnes never gave up. This made him one of the most required people in Edison's company.

In addition, one of the most common features of failure is quitting. There are numerous examples of people who stopped on the last step in the way to success because their desire was not strong. Many successful people say that they reach success soon after they faced misfortune. Darby, the most famous insurance salesman, said that his most beneficial sales were made after people had said no. This is evidence that failure is closely linked to success.

On the whole, a strong desire is something with the help of which any aims and purposes can be attained. People should learn to get over misfortune and follow their dreams no matter what happens.

kridUessay 2 / 15 5  
Apr 12, 2014   #2
Hi Shokhusrav,
here's my suggestion.

People who achieved incredible success in their life seem not to encounter a failure. It is claimed that they got what they need without much effort. However, this view, in my opinion is not correct. Failure is something that everyone experiences during the lifetime, but successful people are able to overcome this ordeal. Hence, it can be said that failure is an outcome of a weak desire. This essay agrees with the statement and will show reasons which support this.

This paragraph is somehow redundant; some sentences can be combined and better written. By the way, you don't need to show or state that directly because it makes your essay awkward.

To begin with, failure is an obstacle that should be gone through. It tests people's desire and purposefulness. For example, Edwin Barnes, a person whose desire was to become a partner of Thomas Edison, had nothing. He had only an aim and a desire to achieve it.

Initially, failure, an obstacle that should be gone through, helps examine people's desire and purpose/purposefulness. For example, Edwin Barnes whose desire was to become a partner of Thomas Edison, had nothing but only an expectation or a dream to achieve it.
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Apr 12, 2014   #3
People who achieved incredible success in their life seem not to encounter a failure.

Hey, this sentence lacks logic :( Almost every successful person had many failures on their path to success and also after being successful too they may encounter failures time to time.
OP Shokhusrav 10 / 27  
Apr 12, 2014   #4
Thank you.
I mean that it only seems that successful people do not encounter failures)...
OP Shokhusrav 10 / 27  
Apr 12, 2014   #5
Can you write that intro for me, if possible?)) thank you....
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Apr 12, 2014   #6
sure :)

"Failure is proof that the desire was not strong enough" To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer

Here we go ;)

Failure is the last thing we want to accept in life. (hook) Some people say that it is an outcome of a weak desire. (background) However, in my view, I believe that failure or success do not depend entirely on the strength of desire. (opinion)

You should not waste a lot of time on the intro and conclusion. You need to spend more time for body paras that need reasoning and examples.
Pahan 1 / 1,907 553  
Apr 13, 2014   #7
To begin with, failure is an obstacle that should be gone through. It tests people's desire and purposefulness. For example, Edwin Barnes, a person whose desire was to become a partner of Thomas Edison, had nothing. He had only an aim and a desire to achieve it. Therefore, it is right to say that Barnes had a misfortune from the beginning. This may be sufficient to discourage many people from their purpose, but Barnes never gave up. This made him one of the most required people in Edison's company.

.... I feel you are going out of topic!
Well, your topic is about;

"Failure is proof that the desire was not strong enough" To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer

So, if you take the stance that you do not agree with the statement, then you need to tell reasons why you hold that view in these body paras. (after telling the reason you should support it with a specific example). Here you seem to be going out of topic. You need to pay more attention to your essay structure. Stay aligned with your topic always!
OP Shokhusrav 10 / 27  
Apr 13, 2014   #8
How do you think it is worth to use pattern structures of essays during the examination?


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