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Many people has acknowledged that internet makes their daily business more accessible


jomul01 14 / 14 1  
Aug 31, 2016   #1
Your feedback is very welcome !

The internet has made human lives more convenient.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?


With the growth in cyber technology, many people has felt that internet makes their daily business more accessible. I believe that advancing in communication and online trade are the most striking point that driving this developing issue.

The benefit on internet is that people are much easier to communicate each other. Since the introduction of email in last decades, this moment becomes a threshold that stimulating the existence of another communication tools. Then, online chat and social media has appeared, this makes people are able to keep in touch anywhere and anytime in no matter of time. For example, in the past, people were relying on mail to reach their relatives that took a long time before the mail was sent. Recently, with the help of internet, human could make conversation in a real time, even several people are choosing video conference. As a consequence, human kind are always connected, with their families and the rest of the world. Thus, internet connects people whenever and wherever.

Another reason is the shifting of shopping behavior from conventional method to online shopping. Since internet has conquered every aspects in people lives, this includes the trade sector. Online shop is appear as possible solution so that people could buy goods and stuffs without wasting so much effort by looking around. Supported with internet banking, transaction are using online payment as people called it "e-cash". Taking eBay as an example, this U.S. based online shop sells a great number of goods which could be reached via internet, dwellers around the world are prone to buy something that they need through this website. As a result, without having such a big effort, people could just sit down and enter the web address, pay through internet banking, and in several day the item will arrive in their home or office. Therefore, it is legit to say that internet makes shopping easier.

In brief, the advancement of communication and online shop means that this makes daily activities are much more easily handled. Measure should be taken to reduce the dependency of internet so people could back to socialize as human kind.

Ilmi_03 47 / 69 11  
Aug 31, 2016   #2
Hi, Sony :)

With regard to the rapid growth in cyber technology, many people has feltacknowledged that internet makes their ...
I believe that advancingadvancement in communication and online trade areisstriking point that driving this developing issuethe most noticeable feature in this term. .

In briefBriefly , the advancement of communication and online shoppinghas been ultimately facilitated people inmeans that this makestheir daily activities are much more easily handled.Measure should be taken to reduce the dependency of internet so people could back to socialize as human kind.[Honestly, I am confused with this final touch. It seems contrast with your idea]
ichanpants89 [Contributor] 16 / 777 309  
Aug 31, 2016   #3
Sony, I must admit that I like the way you write. Your introductory paragraph has a strong hook and you did paraphrase the prompt well. Still, there are several things that you need to consider as I explained as follows:

2nd paragraph:
- ThenFurthermore(because this is an academic writing, please use academic words) , online chat and social media has appeared.full stop This makes people are able to keep ...

- ... even several people are choosing video conferencecan talk directly by video call .
- As a consequence, human kind people are always connected, with their families ...

3rd paragraph:
- ... every aspects in people lives, thisincluding the trade sector, online shop isappears as a possible solution so thatfor people couldto buy goods and (...) so much effort by looking around .

- Taking eBay as an example, this U.S.-based online shop which sells a great number (...) reached via internet,.(full stop) Dwellers around the world are prone ...

Good luck with your practice!


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