Hi, please help me to check my writing IELTS task 2
Nowadays, food becomes easier to prepare. Has this change improved the way people live ?
People's activities have been changed as the way of serving food becomes an instant. While some experts say that many a busy person is more likely to consume fast food since it do not need too long time for its preparation, others believe that fast food can harm the human body. Hence, I argue that eating such food affects to people lifestyle.
Many a busy person tends to use advanced technology to help them in cooking by using modern utensils as it supports them to save their time. Take the process of making traditional food 'bandeng presto' from Indonesia for an example.
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it does not need too long time for its preparation
fast food can harm the human bodyhealth
affects to people lifestyle.
use advanced technology to help themthemselves
While in the past to make this dish some people needYou wrote "in the past". After this You must write needed or just remove this sentence
By using the presto cooking tools it help the chef to reduce time for processing the bandeng bones becoming able to eat, namely presto process.With presto cooking tools chef can reduce the time needed to cook this dish and it is called "presto process"
However, changed our behaviour to eat fast food is not always good for our life. getting used to eat fast food can affect our health
It is difficult for many cooker in nowadays cook some food without using monosodium glutamate in order to become more delicious whereas this substance brings many drawbacks to our life. Such as to make slow the children development, to create damage to our brain, and to make many a person become an obesity and cancer disease.In our days it is difficult for cookers to cook meals without for example monosodium glutamate, because it gives dish better taste. Thus, this product has some drawbacks such as retardation in children development and obesity
many people still use it sincebecause this flavour can give delicious taste to fast food.
however the people understand that it contains many poisonharmfulsubstance causing some illnessthat can be cause of healt problems
Hi niddumakhi) You should learn express your thoughts clearer. You can reach this with practise. Also you should at least reduce grammar mistakes. mostly grammar mistakes were corrected. You should avoid repetition! I'll be happy if my suggestions are useful:)
In my opinion, your task is quite good but you maybe need to care some small things, such as:
+ Hence, I argue that eating such food affects to people's lifestyle.
+ By using the presto cooking tools, it helps the chef to reduce time for processingthat the bandeng bones becoming able to eat , namely presto process.
+ While in the past to make this dish some people need at least eight hours to make this dish in the pastand,now they can spentspend less time to become,nearly one hour, by using this tools.
+As a result, many a cooker in Semarang usinguse this tool for making the bandeng presto to reduce much time in cooking way.
+However, changedchanging our behaviour to eat fast food is not always good for our life.
+It is difficult for many cookersin nowadays to cook some food without using monosodium glutamate in order to make the foodbecome more delicious, whereas this substance brings many drawbacks to our life, such as tomake slowing down the children's development, tocreatedoing the damage to our brain, and tomakecausingmany a person become an obesity and, cancer and the other diseasesto many a person.
+On the other hand, many people are still using it since this flavour can give delicious taste to fast food; however, the people understand that it contains many poisonous substances causing some illness.
+It is clear forthat creating instant food needingssome special compounds but using this substance can bringmake a bad impact toon our life.
+To concludeIn conclusion, it seems to mebe that consuming fast food regularly can change lifestyle to get useful utensils for reducing cooking time; however, to create fast food, some people need to use additional flavour which is not good for consumer.
Here is only my private idea, so maybe it is not totally correct. Hope you all the best things!
