Some people think that large, impressive buildings are important for a city. Others believe that the money should be spent on improving schools and hospitals.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Many people argue that creating massive a large grand architecture is very crucial for urban. However, I believed that it is not recommended since the budget should be invested in the public services.
To begin, the awe-inspiring construction can make the crosstown owning special characteristics. Firstly, the large city has a big edifice as a landmark that will remain the foreign people about that town easily. Secondly, ample splendid buildings are used to be the center of the citizen bustle. That is why the extinction of great concrete buildings is vital to accommodate a great deal of people in the city. In addition, the hefty architecture is the distinguished factor that makes a difference between the city and the countryside. Therefore, the urban should own an awesome edifice since it helpful for the sign of the city.
However it is the vital feature as a part of the city, it is not adequate if the government allocate a lot of funds for making that edifice. Since another crucial thing still inevitable such as the school and the hospital that should be renovated. The society needs good services from the public facilities in order to make betterment for their life. As a result, the government left the edifice to devote much money at institutes and nursing house.
In conclusion, although the sizeable building is a very crucial sign of the city, I still agree that the public needs are the building that helpful for the citizen. It is imperative that focusing on the improvement of the public services is better than build an awesome building.
- creating a massive
- a large grand( massive - already depicts large, grand, humongous if you may, so adding this words in the sentence will be redundant )
- architecture is very crucial for urbanthe city . - However, I believed that it is
- sinceas the budget
- shouldcan be invested in theother public services.
- To begin with ,
- the awe-inspiring construction can make the crosstown( what does "crosstown" mean in this particular sentence )
- owning special characteristics.
- Firstly, theThe ( you have already mentioned your first opinion to the matter at hand, so this is not the first one )
- large city has a bigits ( avoid using the same adjective to describe a subject, rather use a replacement to express your idea ) - remain the foreign people about that town easilyserve as reminder to tourists, foreigners and visitors alike. .
Hi Nursya, as you can see, I took the liberty to edit your your essay with the hopes of showing you the difference if it was written on a different stroke.
Now, there are still a lot work to be done in your essay and I leave it up to you, the ones I did should be a guide for you to edit the rest of the essay.
I hope to read the revised version soon.
Hi Anaguna, I have some suggestion for you. I hope it can helps you. Thank you
1st Paragraph
creating massive a large grand architecture => article + adj + noun => creating an immense and massive architecture
in my opinion, you introduction is not strong enough, let me give you alternative for it:
In this modern era, landmark become one of several facilities that city must to have. City will get more revenue by having this impressive building. But, i strongly believe that government should set their budget for public facilities such as schools and hospitals rather than for landmark. This essay will discuss both point of views.
