Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

[IELTS] People should become vegetarian because they do not need to eat meat to have a healthy diet.


buimingduc 1 / -  
Mar 20, 2019   #1

benefits of becoming vegetarian



[IELTS] People should become vegetarian because they do not need to eat meat to have a healthy diet. Agree or disagree
Nowadays, following a vegetarian diet has been receiving a great deal of public attention. Although this trend does not appear attractive, the advantages will be more significant.

There are a number of reasons why people should become vegetarian. First, since people have suffered from different chronic illnesses, people tend to consume plant foods. In fact, a healthy vegetarian diet is typically low in fat and high in fiber, which can help people, especially the elderly who are affected by diabetes and obesity avoid absorbing fat nutrients and improve digestion. Second, by having a balance diet from a source of organic vegetables, people will have enough supplements to support their bodies. This means that plant foods are rich in vitamins and minerals can provide a wide spectrum of health-promoting nutrients for bodies, which can make the immune system get better.

However, there are still some disadvantages to take into consideration before becoming a vegetarion. First, if people have diet just from the only source of vegetables, there can be a lack of calories to meet people 's energy needs if a vegetarian ' daily meals are not properly balanced. Consequently, they might feel lethargic and unable to do anything energic. Second, in order to change to make meal better taste, people often use various cooking methods. For example, vegetables could be stir fried or boiled in deep water, which leads to a decrease of the amount of vitamins and other minerals absorbed because these supplements are retained best when food is eaten raw or steamed.

In conclusion, the benefits of becoming vegetarian will be far more significant. By following properly balanced diets, people will have enough nutrients to be healthy.

Rich Monte 2 / 94 2  
Mar 20, 2019   #2
It seems that the advantages to go vegan (described in the 2nd paragraph) are not much better than disadvantages you described in the 3rd paragraph. Both arguments are valid, but your conclusion comes a little as a surprise because the positives of vegetarian diet aren't really 'far more significant.' You may also mention "proteins" (meat or fish are the main source).

And consider the difference between 'vegetarian' and 'vegan' ('vegetarians' don't eat meat but can drink milk, eggs, etc. - 'vegans' only eat plant products; so you probably described more vegans than vegetarians here).
lamnhathuy 1 / 4  
Mar 20, 2019   #3
Personally, I think you should include passive voice in some of your sentences to avoid repetition. For example:
First, since people have suffered ...
=> My version: Firstly, It is generally believed that consuming plant foods would reduce the risk of getting chronic diseases.


Home / Writing Feedback / [IELTS] People should become vegetarian because they do not need to eat meat to have a healthy diet.