Some people believe the purpose of education should be helping the individual to become useful

the education purpose

It is widely believed that the fundamental intention of the education system should gear the graduates toward contributing to the sake of society, whereas according to the others, personal achievements should be prioritized. I would concede that the educational purposes should be used for one's goals for several reasons

Since human progress cannot be devoid of the involvement of individuals, regardless of any learning preferences, the inherent intent of any subjects is to educate students to dedicate their effort for a developing society. In this knowledge-oriented world, the prominent role of scientific research, for example, lays a solid foundation to modern civilization. With an abundant force of professors and researchers of different fields we have initially reached many achievements that bring mankind to a higher level of evolution which is essential and desirable to people.

On the other hand, the critics acknowledge the importance of personal goals and how education acts as a precursor to their future career. Firstly, the insurance of one's benefits are significant before anything. Provided that our society is getting more thriving, however, it is rare that there are any people willing to devote themself and enlighten others unless it is beneficial to them. Self-consciousness is no longer novel in this era. Even the volunteers could get their certifications for their work, which is a plus point for their job application. Furthermore, individual success itself has already been a crucial part that contributes to the development of a country. For instance, the wealth of billionaires and their enterprises can effectively bolster the overall national economic growth.

In conclusion, despite both views have some certain validity, I believe that any particular form of education should be useful for the ambitions of people first as the advantages are more considerable.

COULD THE TEACHERS HERE RATE MY ESSAY WITH IELTS BAND SCORE? I REALLY APPRECIATE IT

Kindly contact me privately for a scored review. That is a more intricate and comprehensive review that is not covered by our free review services. The following general review will be a good measurement of how well you might do during the test though. It will give you an idea as to whether you will pass or fail, depending upon your presentation alone.


You did a good job in the restatement. However, when it comes to creating your opinion statement, please remember that when you opt to write using the 3 reasoning format for this essay, you should present one topic alone alone to support your opinion. By presenting a clear supporting topic for your opinion, you end up with a stronger opinion statement. You do not need several personal reasons, only one solid reason since you only have 5 sentences in every paragraph to solidly explain the topic statement.

Now, the 3 reasoning format you have chosen (the other choice being a 2 reasoning paragraph public and personal opinion consideration) requires you to disscuss both public views in a manner that clearly reflects the public opinion in your explanation. While a general explanation is acceptable, the use of third person group pronouns will make it clear to the examiner that you are not referring to a general personal point of view. This is a clarity requirement that is needed because the essay refers to "Some people" and "Others" in the original presentation. A clear 3rd person point of view reference.

Only when you have compared these opinions in individual paragraphs, can you present your personal opinion or support for one particular opinion in your 3rd personal opinion paragraph. This 3rd paragraph must use first person pronouns to highlight your personal opinion paragraph. Please note that your personal statement will need to be developed in a stand alone paragraph. Once you present your personal opinion in the conclusion, it will cause an automatic failing score. That is because the expected summary conclusion requirements were not met. Simply saying, "In conclusion" will not close the essay. The writing requirements for the concluding paragraph will need to be met because of the scoring considerations applied to each paragraph.

This is a good start. At least you have shown that you have a general understanding of the topic. It is the formatting and sentence structures that you have to pay attention to in your next test (of the same writing requirement).