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Some people believe in co-educational classes and others believe in segregated ones


minaf 3 / 10 3  
Dec 24, 2013   #1
please let me know your ideas about my essay!

Some people believe in co-educational classes and others believe in segregated ones. Discuss.

There is no denying that, there are lots of debates about segregated and co-educational classes among, particularly, adolescences and youth about being quite partial of co-educational ones, whereas, mostly parents seem to be opponent in contrast with their children. This opinion possibly rises from the culture or mainly from their being worry about their children's future life. I agree up to this point but this is not how I see it. In this essay I will state the reasons of my strong preference for co-educational classes.

This can be attributed that, one of the most important factors affects my mind is the ability to communicate which can be achieved by these sorts of classes among both genders. One related explanation might be that, the individuals in this atmosphere are forced and taught to not only defend their ideas and beliefs but also protect themselves invisibly, whereby; they tend to have an admissible and satisfying self-image of one, while the ones in segregated classes seem to be self-conscious and have less confidence where both genders are.

We can see beyond any doubt that reaching success and surpassing the far larger statistical population help one to have a satisfactory self-esteem and self-confidence. A further reason behind this trend is that they acquire to get accustomed to the society they will enter afterwards.

On the whole, there were just some listed pros of co-educational classes above which reveal these classes' well and good; I would dispute this, though. Although there can be some faults with this reasoning, I wish to have these kinds of schools seen more and more

MisterWandering 18 / 321 130  
Dec 24, 2013   #2
There is no denying that, there are lots of debates about segregated and co-educational classes among, particularly, adolescences and youth about being quite partial of co-educational ones, whereas, mostly parents seem to be opponent in contrast with their children.

This sentence is too long and does not present your topic clearly. You can simply say that: There is no denying that educational environment is important to the development of students.

This opinion possibly rises from the culture or mainly from their being worry about their children's future life. I agree up to this point but this is not how I see it. In this essay I will state the reasons of my strong preference for co-educational classes.

In my opinion, co-educational classes can bring more benefits to students than segregated ones.

This can be attributed that,

This part can be omitted.

these sorts of classes

Do you mean "co-educational classes"?

This can be attributed that, one of the most important factors affects my mind is the ability to communicate which can be achieved by these sorts of classes among both genders.

Co-educational schools enable students to learn how to interact with members of the opposite gender, with whom they are going to live and work together later in life.

One related explanation might be that, the individuals in this atmosphere are forced and taught to not only defend their ideas and beliefs but also protect themselves invisibly, whereby; they tend to have an admissible and satisfying self-image of one

This sentence is really confusing.
You could try another approach: Coed classes discourage students to develop negative gender stereotypes.

We can see beyond any doubt that reaching success and surpassing the far larger statistical population help one to have a satisfactory self-esteem and self-confidence. A further reason behind this trend is that they acquire to get accustomed to the society they will enter afterwards.

This is a discussion essay, so in this paragraph, you should focus on segregate classes.
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Dec 26, 2013   #3
Great advice by Pahan and Misterwandering and it's really good to have you guys around !Take those points they've mentioned seriously !

This can be attributed that, one of the most important factors affects my mind is the ability to communicate which can be achieved by these sorts of classes among both genders.

Start the body paragraphs with the reasons you use to justify your opinion on the issue. Then support them with a specific example. I'd like to suggest that you have one reason per paragraph.

This can be attributed that, one of the most important factors affects my mind is the ability to communicate which can be achieved by these sorts of classes among both genders. One related explanation might be that, the individuals in this atmosphere are forced and taught to not only defend their ideas and beliefs but also protect themselves invisibly, whereby; they tend to have an admissible and satisfying self-image of one, while the ones in segregated classes seem to be self-conscious and have less confidence where both genders are.

... In this body paragraph, your reason comes in the second sentence. Also, the sentences are too long and too crowded that disturb the flow of your ideas. This para does not contain any example to support your reasoning too :(


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