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Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research

just_writer 24 / 42 5  
Oct 18, 2017   #1
Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely.

Discuss both these views and give tour own opinion.

sharing information for world prosperity

In today's world, information has a lot of values. while there are a lot of companies or people that share their data or knowledge, others try to keep data to themselves. I will talk about both points of view and also share my own ideas as well.

From one side, data and knowledge bring a lot of power with itself. And there are people who share their knowledge with everybody. There are the people who push the world forward. Because when the data or results from their work are available, others can extend the findings or even invent something new.

On the other hand, there are companies or people that always try to hide their findings, sometimes the data is critical or in some cases secret (e.g. military information) which is understandable, why they can't present them to the public. But in some cases, it is because of the selfishness of one person. for example, apple inc. always tries to hide the new inventions and doesn't publish any papers about their work, And it is the reason why scientists are not willing to work for them because their work will remain anonymous.

In my own opinion, everyone should publish the information they have, of course with the right copyright statement. It makes their work much more valuable. For example, I always publish my works and it gives me the joy to watch people extend it. People always appreciate that and no one ever misses my findings.

In conclusion, there are two types of people. Some people think it is alright to share the information with the world. While others disagree. Although it is fine to keep the critical information to yourself. I think sharing will have a lot of good feeling and also makes the world a better place.

(303 Words)
naseernasrati 14 / 33 10  
Oct 18, 2017   #2
Hi I read your essay completely and carefully, my feedback is as fallow:
there are some corrections:
1- last sentence of first paragraph
also share my own ideas as well
2- the last paragraph:
(sharing ) its a little bit confusing, sharing what?
overall the transitional words that you used are not so good.
try to use transitional words fit to the content and context of the sentence and paragraph
in some points some transitional words are good but not interesting if you use another one it will be more interesting and finally your essay will be coherent and

attractive for reader.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,647 3480  
Oct 19, 2017   #3
There are 2 observational points that I would like to call your attention to. The first, is the problem pertaining to how you develop your discussion sentences. There is a basic grammar rule in English writing that indicates a writer cannot start a sentence with a connecting word because a connecting word requires the presence of previous information in the same sentence in order to be effectively used. You violated this rule twice in the second paragraph. You know which words I am referring to (And, Because).

The second observation I have relates again, to your grammar structure in relation to the coherence and cohesiveness section of the essay. As you know, the main requirement for the C&C section is that complete paragraphs need to be presented in order to be accurately scored for the section. Yet, in your opening paraphrase and third paragraph, you have run-on sentences presented. This will result in points deductions. Each thought must be indicated as a separate sentence in order to allow for a proper explanation and appropriate grammatical presentation in the paragraph.

I have to make one additional observation before I close my message to you. Do not place examples in a parenthesis. Any examples presented in these essays need to be developed as full supporting statements for an opinion presented. When you place it in a parenthesis, it doesn't have any bearing nor contribution to the discussion.

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