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Some people believe that hobbies need to be difficult to be enjoyable.

Thao4real 4 / 7  
Apr 5, 2020   #1

Is a "complicated" hobby more respectable?

These days, it is considered that pastimes require more of a challenge. In my opinion, both kind of hobbies can bring you joy and I strongly disagree with the idea that leisure time has to be complicated and uneasy to get.

To start with, there are many people find straightfoward entertainment interesting. One reason behind that is people do not have to take a lot of time or become skilfully. Furthermore, modern equipments are not needed as they do not pay amount of money on that. For example, I enjoy drawing since I was a child but actually I do not do it well. Despite that, I feel enjoyable as I can do whatever you want.

On the other hand, there are other type of hobbies which are relatively as difficult tasks. For this reason, it may need a lot of hard -working and practice to gain success.Moreover, there are those peple who are ready to splash out to feel a sense of achievement on passion as sky-diving, feeding a tiger,... For instance, the piano are expensive and I had to try to read music and play both hands to play it. As a result, it took me more than a year to do it but now, I am proud that I am able to perform in front of everyone as a accomplishment.

To conclude, all kind of pastimes can be fun and exciting. I personally trust that if we are interested in it, we will never think it boring.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,568 4443  
Apr 5, 2020   #2
You have not properly responded to the prompt. You were not supposed to offer an opinion regarding a topic not being asked in the original prompt. You will get marked down for creating an additional discussion point, which altered the original prompt presentation in your paraphrase. The real question dealt with the degree of your dis/agreement with the given statement. Your opinion was not being asked for. This is not a compare and contrast essay with a personal point of view discussion. This is only a degree essay that asks you to defend one opinion. Your statement about how both kinds of hobbies can bring joy is out of place. It should have been placed in the reasoning paragraphs instead as a topic sentence.

Your line of reasoning regarding drawing is incorrect. You enjoy drawing, you are not good at it, so it cannot be a hobby for you. The focus of the discussion is on hobbies. A hobby is defined as: A hobby is a regular activity done for enjoyment, typically during one's leisure time, not professionally and not for pay.Since you do not draw regularly, that is not a hobby and should not have been used as the example in this paragraph.

The second paragraph is so badly written that it does not make sense to a native English speaker. Why on earth would someone want to feed a tiger as a hobby??? Skydiving? You are way off base in this discussion because you are talking about using money to enjoy a hobby when the point of the essay is all about whether people need to do a difficult, not expensive, hobby in order to enjoy. You totally missed the mark here and your TA score will reflect that by falling under 1, which means your whole discussion did not follow the prompt requirements for the topic and formatting.

In this case, the other errors will be irrelevant because the TA score will already prevent you from reaching a passing score. Next time, make sure your discussion falls under the expected discussion parameters of the original prompt. Stay on topic, do not deviate. If you feel you do not understand the given topic, then read sample essays before you write your own response or, have someone explain the prompt to you before you begin writing.

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