IELTS WRITING TASK 2 : OWNING A HOME
In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people.
Why might this be the case?
Do you think is a positive or negative situation?
In modern society, the house is a crucial necessity that should be accomplished to live in. Many people believe that it is prominent to buy people's own house rather than rent. In my view, this comes from the need of feeling safe; and I think it is positive. I would like to explain more details about my opinion by giving some reasons.
Why are people supposed to buy a house? One reason is that by owning a house, people will live in a permanent place without any threats that force them to move or even cause homeless. Compared to renting a house, they are risked by many possible situations that can negatively impact people's lives, such as having problems with the landlord and raising the cost. Therefore, having a house is vital to making life safe and comfortable. Another reason for owning a house is that people are possible to live in better financial conditions. Even though purchasing a house is very expensive the first time, people can manage their expenditures better after that. The fact is, When renting a house, the hirer should pay the cost every month so they are limited to allocate the income for other beneficial aspects, for example, pursuing an education. Thus, it will be hard for people to make a big step in their life.
Based on the given information, I believe that the condition when people prefer to have their own house rather than rent one is positive. This is mainly because by owning a house, people will have a more stable life so they can focus more on developing careers or education. Moreover, this situation can also lead to a decrease in homeless people.
To sum up, people have the desire of owning a house because they want to have a secure life and better finances. This situation affects positively since the house owner is likely to have a better life and possibly create a better society.
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I cannot help but wonder if this user is even listening to me when I make observations and corrections, as well giving advice for the improvement of the essay presentations. The problems remain the same, meaning the writer has disregarded previously given improvement references. Additional problems have even shown up in this essay that further prove that the writer is not even trying to improve his vocabulary and sentence development skills. Several words are incorrectly used in the essay which create confusing and non-understandable sentence/paragraph ideas.
A clear writer's opinion is not provided since he only "think(s)" that the provided opinion might be correct. So he failed that task requirement immediately. The writer is also fond of using empty sentences and rhetorical questions, both of which unnecessarily lengthen the essay. There is a time consideration to keep note of that should be followed without fail. These are actions that will ensure once again, that the writer will not produce a passing score essay. The essay has too many problems for this writer / exam taker to actually know what he is supposed to be doing and how he is supposed to be discussing these essays. With all of the example essays available here, that come with free advice for improvement based on previous writer errors, I am really puzzled as to why this writer cannot improve his practice essay presentations for review.
I do not see any way of helping this student going forward since he appears to be incapable of understanding the observations made with regards to his previous writing problems. He is not capable of taking advice or learning from freely given advice either. This being his 3rd essay for review, marked improvements rather than increasing writing problems should be seen. Due to his lack of improvement and increasing writing problems based on word usage and sentence formation, among other problems, this will be the last consultation I will be giving this student. His lack of ability to improve his writing skills cannot be blamed on me since I keep repeating the same advice, with additional observations and improvement references for new problems with every essay he presents here for review.