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Some people believe that school children should not be given homework by their teachers


Hi guys, please help me check this essay. That's difficult for a novice like me:
Topic: some people believe that school children should not be given homework by their teachers, whereas others argue that homework plays an important role in the education of children. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion

Should teacher assign homework?



Deciding whether or not to assign homework to students has been a common quarrel in many countries. Personally, I support the setting of homework and will discuss both sides of the argument in this essay.

On the first hand, giving children exercise to complete after school is against due to several reasons. In general, it is considered as an unnecessary burden on students. Indeed, after experiencing a rigorous schedule with many convoluted lessons, they are more likely to be exhausted and full of stress, which need to relax rather than challenge themselves to solve additional problems. Moreover, the effectiveness of homework can be doubted, especially when people take a glance at the international educational league table, which reflects no improvement in children's academic performance in countries where homework is the norm, compared to those of kids from countries where they are free after school.

On the other hand, the setting of homework also has an important role to play in the education system. As schooling directs to equip students with the essential skills to be independent citizens, the task of developing a self - regulating learning habit becomes obviously vital. That is the reason why homework, which requires students to work through tasks alone and at their pace, should be promoted. In addition, homework is of great use for teachers to keep track of their students, or, in other words, make sure that they acquire an accurate and comprehensive understanding of the lessons.

In conclusion, although its drawbacks are foreseen, I still believe that homework still remains necessary for the training program of many education systems.

Dec 26, 2017   #2
Viet , you have taken the wrong approach to the essay. You have exaggerated the opening paraphrase and tried to discuss too much in the essay, and even then, you came up short in the required paragraphs. Aim for a 5 paragraph discussion each time so that you can fully explain your opinion and also, allow the examiner to evaluate your English vocabulary and sentence development abilities. You need to learn to outline the discussion presented before you so that you will be able to develop a proper restatement. For example in this essay, the following comprises the outline:

Topic: some people believe that school children should not be given homework by their teachers
Discussion point: others argue that homework plays an important role in the education of children.
Discussion Instruction: Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion

All 3 points should be represented in your opening paraphrase. Done properly, based on the outline, you should be able to present at least a 3 sentence representation of the maximum 5 sentence requirement. So the presentation should have been:

A section of society is of the opinion that students should be spared additional learning material when at home. The other sector, would rather children do additional work when they are at home. In this essay, I will explain why these two points of view exist and my opinion regarding this discussion as well.

If information is not provided in the original prompt, then you should not say anything about it in the actual essay you will be writing. So the reference to a quarrel is an exaggeration that could lose you TA points because there is no reference to that in the first place. Just stick to the simple, basic information from the original discussion in order to prove that you have the ability to accurately restate the original prompt, in your own words. This is all about English comprehension and exaggerations, tend to muddle that consideration.

Your body of paragraphs are not cohesive in presentation although these are a bit coherent to the reader. This was caused by your under developed second idea presentation per paragraph. You should not provide 2 ideas for discussion because, with the 5 sentence requirement, you will only have enough space to fully explain one idea. Therefore the best way to discuss multiple ideas would be to spread it out through the 3 body paragraphs. In this instance though, because you have to discuss 2 points of view and your opinion, you cannot explain more than one idea per paragraph.

Please avoid presenting only one line of discussion in the concluding sentence. The proper summary of the discussion must always fall under the sentence requirements per paragraph in order to prove that you are capable of restating your own discussion in a new manner.


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