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some people believe that sport have no place in school curriculum


a_safaei_m 1 / 2  
May 25, 2011   #1
some people believe that competitive sports, both team and individual, have no place in the school curriculum, how far do you agree or disagree??

Yet some people put forward the view that competitive sports, both teamwork and individual have no place in school curriculum, however, from my point of view, this is impossible to argue against the fact that physical games and sports play a significant role in pupils growth and maturity.

Playing competitive sports in schools can have different advantages in children's development. For instance, it improves their social and emotional behavior. By playing teamwork sports children coordinate, which teach them to be responsible to their friends. Furthermore, in game they will relate together and manage their conflicts and also establish some friendships which will endure for long time.

Almost all competitive sports, both teamwork and individual, consist of some tactics which children should quickly, sometimes in less than 1 second, decide how to use them. This will activate their minds and improves their intellectual ability which is useful in all aspects of their life. Therefore it is fair if we attach importance to playing sport in school curriculum.

There is no doubt that people would be healthier by playing sport. In addition it is clear to everyone that playing in school with their peer is more likeable for children. Therefore we should encourage children and make them interested to sports and place sports in their school curriculum.

In conclusion, it can be very useful if we devote time to playing sports and teaching it in schools. In addition we should put energy into it as well as other lessons such as mathematics and geology to make children interested.

yoyolo 5 / 13  
May 26, 2011   #2
Hello a_safaei_m,

English is not my first language too, so I couldn't correct your essay directly. However, please let me give you some indirect instruction for IELTS Task 2 writting.

1. avoid using 'formula words' such as 'Yet some people put forward the view that ' and that will surely decrease your score.

2. try to connect sentence by your words rather than conjuction words and by the way you use 'therefore' and 'in addition' for too many times.

3. finally, I don't think your essay is over 250 words.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,335 129  
May 26, 2011   #3
Great advice, here! I'll give some specific corrections:

Some people put forward the view that competitive sports, both team sports and individual sports, have no place in the school curriculum. However, from my point of view, it is impossible to argue against the fact that physical games and sports play a significant role in pupils' growth and maturity.-----I added an apostrophe.

Almost all competitive sports, both teamwork and individual, consist of some tactics which children should quickly, sometimes in less than 1 second, decide how to use. them .

This will activate their minds and improves their intellectual ability which is useful in all aspects of their life. ----great sentence!!!

There is no doubt that people would become healthier by playing sports.

:-)
klatz238 4 / 27  
May 28, 2011   #4
Dear Arefe Safaei,
I think i might also include that sport competition in school is sin-qua-non to achieving educational objectives. School curriculum is designed for these objectives. Google and study "Blooms Taxonomy of Educational Objectives" (1950s) they are basically three-congnitive domain, affective domain and psychomotor domain. They are the major framework (from theoretical point of view) guiding the design of school curriculum. If you study the third domain, you will be proud to make several claims why sport activity is as important excatly as class subject.

I hope you will have time to do this coz you may not know how useful it is unless you try.
Regards.


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