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IELTS Task 2: Some people believe that students need to consume healthy diet at school.

akbarmappiare 31 / 469 275  
Nov 28, 2015   #1
To learn effectively, children need to eat a healthy meal at school.
How true is this statement?
Whose responsibility is it to provide food for school children?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people believe that students need to consume healthy diet at school to study effectively. I argue that this statement is really true since the students need plenty of nutrition to understand the lessons well. A school management and parents must be collaborative to observe and provide healthy diet to the students.

Actually, the students need a considerable of nutrition of healthy food so that they can follow learning process effectively in the class. However, the children tend to consume unhealthy meals although it can disturb physical condition of the students because they do have good knowledge about balanced diet. Based on recent study at Cambridge University, children need to eat healthy foods 3 times more than older people because they are in the growing. In addition, intelligence of the children is also affected by the amount of nutrition values which are eaten every day.

On one hand, the school and the parents have responsibility to guide and provide healthy food for the students so that they have intake of nutrition enough. The students need instruction clearly about the diet which they must consume and avoid because they have little knowledge about healthy food. The parents can guide their children consume the meals which contain the balanced nutrition with providing the healthy diet of house. In addition, the schools should also make regulation to canteens that they are allowed to sell at around the school, but their products should be the healthy diet.

In conclusion, I fully agree that the student need to consume healthy food so that they can study effectively in learning process. The school should make the regulations for the canteens owner that they should not sell unhealthy food. However, the parents should also guide and advise their children to eat the healthy diets which contain balanced nutrition.
vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Nov 28, 2015   #2
Akbar, your essay does suffer a bit from repetitiveness as Sakshi said. The repetitiveness of your line of reasoning comes from your lack of information regarding the topic. While you were able to improve the essay by quoting a source of information, you dropped the ball in terms of continuing to grow the discussion using other opinions, be it personal or researched. Some additional points of debate that you could have used in the essay include:

1. Deciding whether the one meal a day at school that the children get has any real impact upon their learning abilities.
2. The sometimes limited food budget that parents have which could lead them to choose more processed than natural food for the kids.
3. The lack of or limited feeding programs that public schools try to implement to help the students get a nutritious meal.
4. Who has the main responsibility for the health and well-being of the child. Should the responsibility be the school's because they teach the children? Or should it be the parents responsibility because they are the people who were given the social, moral, physical, and intellectual responsibility for raising the child?

I will not judge your work on this essay simply based upon your repetitiveness in the discussion. What I would like to do is give you a chance to revise the content of the essay using the suggestions I provided. Try to make it a more interesting essay that covers various facets of the debate. Research information to support it if you must. This is just a practice essay, so you have the opportunity to repeat one essay topic until you get it right :-)

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