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People care more about public recognition than about money


karenchen 1 / 1  
Sep 9, 2014   #1
7 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People care more about public recognition than about money. Even if no more money is given, public recognition can still make people work harder.

OR: Company should use public recognition, not money to reward hard working.

{I get a little bit confused with the phrase "no more money is given" here. Is it saying that employees no longer get paid or they don't get extra payment?}

Unquestionably, to gain public recognition and money are two of the dominant reasons for people to go to work. Now that some people argue that recognition by the society plays a more important role in driving the individuals to work, and therefore when the employees are given adequate respect and recognition, they will keep their working passion even if they won't get extra payment. However, it is my assertion that getting paid, rather than public recognition, remains the first and foremost purpose for most workers.

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vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Sep 9, 2014   #2
The statement implies that people will still get paid but not rewarded for extra accomplishments on the job. In other words, no bonuses for model employees :-)

Unquestionably,to gain public recognition and money are two of the dominant reasons for people to go to work. Now that some people argue that recognition by the society plays a more important role in driving the individuals to work,andtherefore when the employees are given adequate respect and recognition, they will keep their working passion even if they won't get extra payment. However, it is my assertion that getting paid, rather than public recognition, remains the first and foremost purpose for most workers.

- ... individuals to work . Therefore, when the... working passion even if they don't get...

To begin with,thoughspiritual incentives matter, money indeed matters more. In a commercial society, peoplehave to pay for virtually everything they need for living. For example, the individuals may need the salaries to pay off their student loans, mortgage of houses and cars, travell ing expenses and bills for having dinners outside with friends. These regular bills will grow even more expensive while people get older, as they will have to spend more to support their children's education and their parents' medical care. In order to afford these increasing expenditures, employees usually require a growing annual income. Naturally, that's why people work hard, which is, they expect a higher income as they get promoted by working extra hard. Public recognition will not help them release from the financial pressure of supporting their families. Actually, in my opinion, only after employees' desire for money is satisfied will they further pursue spiritual fulfillment.

- Money matters more in a commercial society . People have to pay for. Individuals need their salaries to pay for ... houses and cars . ... They expect a higher...

- Your last statement does not help establish anything related to the prompt. Never deviate from the prompt.

Admittedly, rewarding the employees with fame does have some effect on encouraging them to devote themselves more in to work. However, this will only work in a short term. In the long run, social recognition must convert into real economic benefit; otherwisethe unbalance between public status and financial position will eventually drive the employees to leave the company, not only because they feel themselves unfairly treated, but also because they are more competitive on the job market now with greater public recognition.

- work in the short term... Social recognition must convert into real economic benefit for the workers. Otherwise, the lack of balance in their public and financial status... there are more competitive jobs on the market...

In conclusion, I disagree with the proposal that companies reward the hard wording employees with pure public recognition, as it is economic interest that intrinsically drive people to work

- Merge this sentence with the previous paragraph to create your closing statement.

Modern people work not only for money, but also for public recognition. Some people argue that employers should pay back their employees' hard working with public recognition rather than monetary rewards. With respect, however, I think there is no way that people would work harder merely for public recognition. The way I see it, though to receive public recognition has become an increasingly stronger motivation for people to work, getting paid remains the first and foremost purpose for most people to go to work.

- This is a better opening statement. You should definitely use this hook instead. I just have some adjustments to suggest.
- ... stronger motivation for people to work but getting paid

I hope my suggestions work for you. By the way, you present very good arguments in support of your stand. It is obvious that you considered all the angles of discussion and gave the pro and con reasons for each.
OP karenchen 1 / 1  
Sep 9, 2014   #3
Hi Louisa(I hope I don't get your name wrong.). Thank you so much for your help. I want to explore more from your review notes so that I can avoid similar problems in my next essay.

First, I notice that you delete quite a few transition phrase such as, "To begin with""though""for example""which is""in the long run". Actually, by using these phrases I aim to make the transition more natural, and give a hint to the readers what i am going to talk about next, or what's the relationship between the next sentence and the previous sentences so that they won't have trouble figuring out the framework and structure of my essays. Do you think these phrases don't work as I attempt to, or they make the essay not concise enough?

Second, the first paragraph,Why do think the second one more catchy? Is it because by using phrases like "rather than""there is no way", my statement appears stronger?

Thank you again for your support.:)
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Sep 10, 2014   #4
However, it is my assertion that getting paid, rather than public recognition, remains the first and foremost purpose for most workers.

first and foremost purpose for what? This sounds a bit vague :(

To begin with, though spiritual incentives matter, money indeed matters more.

.... well, recognition is not really a spiritual motivation, but it deals more with one's emotions. This is my suggestion;
To begin with, though emotional incentives play an important role in motivating a person, money indeed matters more in that respect.


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