Your essay will greatly benefit from further discussions in the first two paragraphs. Perhaps offering an example or two based on professional opinions coming from teachers would help to reinforce the supporting reasons you provided. The opposing argument could use further development as well and a few examples to prove your point.
Personally, I believe children should be treated equally in the school. It is because when schools are allowed to identify the intellectual students, they may incline to neglect the average students and emphasize on training those talented students.
- William, it would greatly help your essay if you developed this point of view further before concluding the essay. In an opinion type essay such as this one, your personal opinion and any experience that you can use to back up your claims are greatly appreciated by the reader. That is because it shows a deeper understanding of the topic being discussed and reinforces the fact that your opinion has a solid foundation. Don't forget that your personal opinion carries most of the weight in a graded paper as this is the part of the essay that proves your reading comprehension and written communication skills.