Unanswered [10] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3


IELTS TASK 2 - Nowadays people concentrated on their job decide to delay owning a child


annanthaayu 7 / 12 4  
Dec 19, 2018   #1

late parents



More people decided to have children in their later age than in the past. Why? Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?

It is argued that a decision to put off the eagerness of having children is extremly common today. Although humans can be focused on career and found the ease of organizing the time, non-productive age for women (approximately over 40) will be affected the female's reproduction later outweigh any drawbacks.

It is true that people will be more concerned in working if they decide to delay owning a child. Moreover, they will obtain a convenience in arrange the time schedule, plan the quality time for themselves, and come together with friends or family. To illustrate, individuals have to prepare much money to take care of their kids. Therefore, they must be deliberated how to set aside some money for children's school and health. Besides, parents should be considered about the time sharing as long as kids need more attention and affection from them.

On the other hand, researchers have reported that the ideal age to gain a baby is between 20 and 30 years old because the women's reproduction can be worked optimally. Consequently, some research said that many people have to encounter the reproduction problems at the age above 40. According to this, the opportunity to continuing the descent more available from 20 to 30 years old compared to the age over 30. In consequence, people should be contemplated to not postponing having a child in order to avoid the reproduction matter.

To conclude, despite humans can be concentrated on their job, the issue of health reproduction should be esteemed.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,835 4783  
Dec 19, 2018   #2
Annatha, this essay will get an automatic failing score because you have not written the minimum 250 words for the Task 2 test. It is a ground rule that the student must write more than 250 words to ensure that the essay will be scored on all 4 scoring levels. Remember, writing less than the required number of words will find you receiving a score penalty based on the lacking word count. Since the task will be considered incomplete, it will affect the remaining scores for the remaining criteria.

Why can't the remaining criteria allow you pass the test? Since there will also be errors in the essay based on your word usage, clarity problems, and GRA structures, each penalty will result in an increasing lower overall score for you. The highest you might possibly get is a 5, but with the missing word count, that is not an assurance.

Therefore, it is best to always write at least 260 words, just to make sure that you meet the word requirement. If you make sure to write 5 sentences per paragraph, you can be sure that you have at least met the 250 word requirement.
vietduccan 10 / 19 7  
Dec 28, 2018   #3
The problem related to word count has already mentioned above so I won't discuss further. There are other problems that I think you essay has. Firstly, it seems to me that you didn't satisfy all the requirements of the topic. Based on the topic, you need to have two separated paragraphs, one for the reasons why people delay having child and one for your opinion toward the question whether the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. Make sure that you write a correct and simple opening statement for each body paragraph. This will act as "an umbrella" for the entire of paragraph.

Another point to consider is that the grammar range that you used in your essay. Most of your sentences are written to complicated and therefore, they are hard to be fully understood. In IELTS, you do not need to write so much complicated sentences in order to gain score in GRA. Instead, you should write in a simple way. This will help you not only avoid grammar mistakes but also improve your coherence and cohesion.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 - Nowadays people concentrated on their job decide to delay owning a child
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳