Unanswered [8] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

Some people feel that certain workers like nurses, doctors and teachers are undervalued -IELTS


hayaalqasem 9 / 17  
Sep 28, 2015   #1
Some people feel that certain workers like nurses, doctors and teachers are undervalued and should be paid more, especially when other people like film actors or company bosses are paid huge sums of money that are out of proportion to the importance of the work that they do.

-How far do you agree?
-What criteria should be used to decide how much people are paid?
You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.Write at least 250 words.


Each individual works to increase his income and to attain prosperous life. This income differs from one job to another due to different factors that related to the status of economy and people's views of importance of this job. Some people claim that doctors and teachers must receive high salaries ,while the others see that depends on everybody diligence and ability to have high income. In my opinion I strongly agree with the opinion that employees of health and education sectors must have well-paid and high salaries . This due to the most important criteria, the development of society.

It is known that the crucial factors of advancing communities are health and education. For example, reduction in number of teachers increases the level of illiteracy , reduces the individuals' skills and abilities , thus the industries ,inventions and researches will diminish. In addition, the rising of doctors and nurses will lead to healthy body and mind for families that enhance them in all fields of life, otherwise serious diseases and social crises will spread. This embodies in some developing countries such as Egypt, Algeria and India who are suffering from unemployment, poorness, hunger, and moral devolution.

On the other hand, films actors just offer amusing and interesting shows that does not contribute dramatically in advancing the countries. Moreover, chairmen companies earn sums of money by exploiting country resources without offer evident benefits for people. Those people actors and bosses are received facilities from health and education employees. Thus, the latter are more efficient in society than the former.

In conclusion ,I believe that education and health are mainstay of life. As long as the workers of both sectors have an efficient role in society , they must be prioritized in supporting and raising income and salaries.

vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Sep 28, 2015   #2
Hayaal, how would you defend the theory that because actors put their lives on the line doing stunts (such as Tom Cruise, Vin Diesel, and Dwayne Johnson) so their salary should be commensurate to their job risk? Doctors and teachers do not carry any life ending risks in their careers, so why should they get paid more? Doesn't the discussion really boil down to training and expertise instead?

I hope that my statement has helped you realize that your paragraph about the salary that actors get is too under developed as a line of reasoning. What you discussed, normally works only for TV actors who work on a closed set and have a regular income. Other actors, like those in the movies, only get paid per movie. When they make a movie, they have to spend long hours, months, even years, away from their family. All the time putting their lives at risk in our uncertain world in order to keep us entertained.

Doctors and teachers, they are normally located in safer and controlled environments and they always perform the same tasks. While doctors require continuous training due to the development of treatments, similar to actors who have to continue to train for their various movie roles, teachers normally do not. Perhaps you would like to consider a more serious take on the prompt based upon the aforementioned considerations?

While your current essay strongly supports your opinion, you also need to present a strong understanding of the opposing opinion. Otherwise your discussion seems one sided, as it does now. Try to present a balanced point of view in the essay, even though you are being asked to simply agree with one side. It makes for a more valid and considerate discussion of the prompt.
OP hayaalqasem 9 / 17  
Sep 29, 2015   #3
Hi vangiespen
Thank you for your notes
In my opinion it is right that actors put their lives online to gain sums of money ,but teachers and doctors also spent their lives in studying and they continue studying and researching for tens of years or all long of lives to offer the best for their community, because every day there must be new things to learn and practice and they also leave their family to achieve their goals in promoting their societies and they serve all sectors of community while actors interested in gaining money and in being famous although they amuse the individuals by films are directed and managed by people who want to convey their specified messages and opinions about several issues. that related to political or economical interests.


Home / Writing Feedback / Some people feel that certain workers like nurses, doctors and teachers are undervalued -IELTS