Unanswered [21] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback % width Posts: 2

IELTS - Many people nowadays don't feel safe either when they are at home or go out. Cause&solution?


ashleyngan 1 / -  
Oct 11, 2021   #1
Many people nowadays don't feel safe either when they are at home or go out.

What are the reasons? What can we do to solve this problem?



In line with the development of society, more concerns related to indoor and outdoor security bother people. This essay will analyze the causes behind and address the solutions also.

In light of modernization, technology and intense office schedule are inevitable on a daily basis. These first can be seen in several problems related to online platforms as more sophisticated frauds now are ubiquitous thanks to the digital advancement. Cyber criminals may take advantage of insecurity of personal information to jeopardize the victim's properties. Moreover, the industrial revolution has led to the hectic schedule in office, which requires workers to prompt for their job more frequently. If employees take traffic jams for granted as they are put under pressure to hurry, they may encounter unexpected accidents on the road which do harms to their physical health.

Thus there need to be some remedies implemented to tackle these issues such as laws introduced by the governments. As the laws can inhibit illegal tricks on social media and penalize those in charge to set an examples for the others not to commit it again. Furthermore, these laws will be the alert to citizens to perceive this hazardous kind of criminal and avoid it. Additionally, the authority can utilize these policies to regulate the workflow and reduce the burden in terms of time on workers to enable them to comfortably prepare for work and reduce the traffic incidences as a consequence .

In conclusion, to my knowledge, such great developments in countries are the factors behind the feelings of insecurity of many people. Hopefully, aforementioned solutions can contribute to solving these issues and can calm people down.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 11,749 3795  
Oct 12, 2021   #2
There are specific discussion net up being asked. Why did you not offer the quick topis responses that would have helped to establish the discussion accuracy requirement? The task 2 essays always require direct responses or opinion statements in the first paragraph. You must never repeat the discussion requirements because those are non-scorable and are in fact, score lowering presentations . There are only 2 ways to address the Task 2 establishing discussions:

- Restatement + opinion ( Agree or disagree question)
- Restatement + direct responses (Direct questions)

online platforms as more sophisticated frauds

This is where the actual response begins. Try to open with topic sentences per paragraph. Restate your question responses to indicate the paragraph topic. This shows more of your ability to keep the presentation in line with the questions provided.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS - Many people nowadays don't feel safe either when they are at home or go out. Cause&solution?