Hi tinytinisea, welcome to EssayForum :)
I have some corrections for your writing.
1. It is better if you write the question completely so that the readers can provide meaningful feedback for your essay.
2. Articles 'a' and 'an'
-
aan abductor > the article 'a' is followed by consonant sounds: a teacher, a car,
a university (
a yuniversity), etc
-
aan electronic gun > the article 'an' is followed by vowel sounds: an actor, an invitation,
an hour (
an auer),etc.
3. There are
two main reasons for this problem
First of all , crimes are committed widely and openly. [...] This reason undoubtedly increases the feeling of being unsecured.
I only find one idea or one reason in this paragraph (in blue) : crimes. Unemployment, it cannot be your another (second) reason as it explain 'crimes'. So, I suggest you to rewrite this part in order to be logical since your essay will be assessed for its coherence.4. Faulty parallelism
either when they are at home or outside
This element should be in the same grammatical form: when they are
eitherat homeorat an outside location .
Hope this helps. Cheers